My 1st love murdered, and the person behind the gun isn’t in jail. Ben was everything and more. They say you’re not in love at 15 and 16 but it was love. It was the 1st person I felt what I thought love is. Love comes and goes in different ways, but this built and destroyed my heart. We had been together since 6th grade to freshman year. I had a crush on him since the 1st grade, and we were in the same class for 10 years. They say the perfect person doesn’t exist, but Ben was perfect. He was perfect for me. Yes, we fought, but nothing that never ended with an I’m sorry and freshly grown flowers from Ben’s aunt’s garden. My mother never liked Ben because she says he’s a bad influence. She never knew the things Ben went through. His father in prison for having a meth lab in the basement. His mother was an alcoholic but still loved Ben dearly. They were so close until the day he got in the car with his mother drunk. He was strapped in the back seat and they collided with a red truck. Ben watched his mother die and he sat there unable to move. He lived with his aunt and uncle who gave him the best life they could. I never told my mother because Ben doesn’t like to tell people. Ben is outgoing and sticks up for anyone he loves. If he thinks my mother is mistreating me he will stick up for me even if it takes them screaming at each other. After a while my mother had forbidden Ben and I from hanging out. Thank God for uber. My best friend Kate was neighbors with Ben and she would always have me over, so we could all hang out.

   November 6th, 2017 is a day I could never get out of my head. It was a Saturday and my mom wouldn’t let me go to Kate’s because my room was a mess. Ben was determined to hang out with me so he ubered over. He snuck in through the back door and came to my room. He gave me the biggest hug and brought a small black dog stuffed animal. It looked like my dog, Wilson who had passed away a year ago. It was the sweetest gift he had ever gotten me. Wilson loved Ben and got so excited every time he saw Ben. We watched movies and ate vegetables his aunt had grown. Ben had to pee, so he got up and went to the bathroom. He had the stuffed dog in his hand because I had asked him to put it in the guest bed room on his way out, so it wouldn’t get lost in my messy room. It was so dark he couldn’t see where he was going. He had opened the door to my mother’s room. Ben had grown a lot since the last time my mother had seen him. All she could see was a 6-foot man figure with a black object in hand standing at her bedroom door at 2 am. She screamed and grabbed her gun. I heard her scream, so I ran out my room and the next thing I heard were 2-gun shots and a drop to the floor. My mom turned on her lamp and saw Ben laying on the floor. My heart had dropped to my stomach with chills running all through my body. My legs shook, and I fell to my knees in my loves blood. I screamed as I cried for Ben’s name waiting for him to move or make a sound. My mom ran to the phone and called 911. She screamed to the phone,  “I killed him please send an ambulance”. I grabbed one of Ben’s hands and put one hand on his blown chest. In about 3 minutes the medics and police came bursting in. I wouldn’t let go of him. “Ben. It’s going to be okay they will fix you. Ben, I love you. I love you Ben.” I cried. The medic checked for a pulse. She looked at me and paused, “He’s” I looked at her with hope, “He’s alive? Is he alive?” she looked at him then looked at me “He’s gone.” I felt nothing. This isn’t happening. I felt as if I was floating. Every part of me was shaking. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t process what just happened. I looked up and saw nothing but flashing lights out my window and cops standing around my mother. Then came 3 men with a black bag. “Ma’am would you please step away from the body.” I looked at Ben and kissed his forehead and gave him one last hug. “I love you, Ben. I love you.”