You get home, and go to do your new daily routine, vape. It’s the only thing on your agenda, but then you realize that your pod is almost empty, what now? Will you take a break? Ask a friend? Steal another one? You pull out your phone and go on Amazon, ordering cartridges for a decent price. You click the purchase button, but can’t wait that long. Tomorrow you will go to school, and find fellow juulers.

“Hey, do you have any pods I can buy?” You whisper to somebody who is known to vape. “What kind?” They respond happily. “What do you have?” You question, hoping for something as delicious as the last. “You want fruit? Cereal? Ice cream? Cake?” They list different flavors. “How much for the Cake?” You ask curiously. “$30.” It’s all you have left, but you are willing to buy it. “Here” You hand over your money, and accept the new flavor. Hiding the pink cartridge in your pocket until you're safe.

Your friend texts you while you are at home. “Hey, where have you been?” They ask you. “Sorry, I've been busy.” You respond to them, but feel almost guilty since you have only done one thing, vape. “We haven’t really seen you, and Samantha said you were vaping, are you okay?” Your friend is concerned about you, but you get annoyed. “I’m fine, I’ll talk to you later.” Turning off your phone, you remember that you had homework, but what was it? Out of stress, you continue vaping, enjoying the cakey flavor, hoping your problems would just disappear. Feeling as if your problems did disappear.

It’s the end of the grading period and you realize you are failing. What will you tell your mom? Will you tell your mom? You crumple up the paper containing your grades, and toss it in a blue trash can nearby, walking away as if nothing happened. “What did you do today?” Your mom asks. “Just school, as usual.” You look out the window, and hope that she doesn’t bring up grades. “Did you learn anything?” “Nothing much.” You answer. Well, how are you doing in class?” “I'm doing fine.” You lie, but what else would you do?

In P.E., you are coughing, your lungs feel tight, but why? This didn’t happen before, so why now. You continue, hoping the ache will go away. By the end of the day, it does. You see your friends walking toward you. “Hi, why have you been so distant, are you alright?” They ask. “ I’m fine.” Something that is now often said. “You should really stop vaping, it’s not good, and it could get you into trouble.” They all surround you, with faces full of worry, but all you can do is feel angry. “What, you think that just because I'm not hanging out with you is because I'm vaping, common! I am fine, so leave me alone.” You snapped. You charge through them, and storm off. Even if you wanted to stop vaping, even if they were right, you can’t stop. You can’t even imagine living without a vape pen in your hand anymore. What would you do? You are curious as to what your friends warned you about, so you look it up. Are vape pens dangerous? You see images of people hooked up to tubes. You see videos of people coughing so harshly they could cough out blood. You read articles about how the nicotine drug can affect people. Noticing what has happened to you, you are frightened, but you can’t put down the drug. As the article says, “Nicotine is a highly addictive drug.” You can’t do anything about it, you are frightened, and know that you should stop, but you just can’t.

You go to turn off the lights, and maneuver around your messy room, clothes all over the floor, and school supplies spilling out of your backpack. Your pencils would probably have dust on them if you didn’t carry them in your backpack all day. You become depressed, but your only source of comfort is vaping.

“Come here, we will tell someone about you vaping if you don’t stop, this is only out of concern for your wellbeing, so please stop.” Your friends plead. “I can’t, ;ook, no matter how hard I try, there is no way to stop, I am addicted.” You finally admit it. “The drug has taken over.” You say. “No, you can stop, you just need help, we will tell an adult, and you will be taken care of.” “I don’t want to get in trouble.” Your face is hot with emotions of anger, worry, and frustration. “It will help, so we have to, sorry.” They walk away, shadows bouncing behind them, heading towards the office. You walk to the bathroom, every step as heavy as a dum bell. You sink into the floor, and cry warm wet, and salty droplets form and escape your eyes. Uncontrollingly, you swipe out the Juul, and take a deep breath, feeling as if a weight has been lifted. You feel as though you are in the clouds, and then you suddenly cough, and cough, and cough. It won’t stop. It feels as if your lungs have been stripped of oxygen. You gasp for breath, only to be disappointed with more coughing. The blue stalls seemed fuzzy, but it wasn’t the smoke from the e-cigarette. Figures appeared above you, and you were mover, hearing muffled siren sounds. You are able to breathe, but just slightly. And you go unconscious.

Eyes fluttering open, you look around the room, and see bright white walls, several tubes are going into you. You are one of the people in those images. You are a victim of nicotine. Your body aches, but you have never been more grateful to be able to breathe. The air tasted like plastic because of the mask that produced oxygen, but it is the best air you have ever tasted. You still long for a flavorful taste, but luckily there are no juuls around. Sleep creeps in, and you drift into slumber.

Someone calls your name, and your eyes snap open. “Hey, are you okay?” It is your mom. You nod your head up and down, afraid to speak. “Have you really been vaping all this time?” You know you should respond with words, but it suddenly feels as if you never got treatment, it is impossible to speak. You nod again, looking at her hurt face. “I’m sorry, I should have been setting a better example, and I should have noticed. Don’t think you're not in trouble though, we will have a big talk as soon as you're feeling better. You can’t let her go without saying anything. “I’m sorry mom.” A single droplet rolls down your cheek, and falls onto your shirt leaving a wet circle. “I know.” She responds, and walks away, her footsteps echoing in the distance. 

You are feeling better, but there will always be a part of you that misses that fruity flavor, and the smoke leaving your mouth. You know that you must stop though.

The Volkswagen pulls into your driveway, making a grinding noise as it rolls over all the little rocks. “Common, let’s get inside, once you get settled we’ll talk.” You hadn’t said much since you got to the hospital, but you are able to talk. Once you are in your room, you go around, picking up the mess you made, if only it were that easy. When you’re done, you slowly trot down the slick stairs, and arrive at the dining table where your mother awaits you. “Okay, let’s talk. Let me start by saying that I will try not to vape as much, and I will be a lot more careful with where I put my pens. I will also have you check your pockets when you get home, and I will have you go through your bag, okay?” “Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Her eyebrows creased together. “I know, i’m not punishing you, I just want to make sure your safe. I know you don’t want this to happen again, but it is an addictive drug. Also, I will not be using fruity flavors anymore.” You look into your mom's eyes. “I understand, I won’t make that mistake again, and I’ll try to do better, I am so, so sorry.” She placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I know, and I am glad you were able to get through this, I don’t know what I would do if you got yourself into this again. Did you know that one of my friends died from vaping?” You look up with shock. “No, I didn’t.” She continues. “She died, and I know I should have stopped, but I can’t, I will limit myself, but it isn’t as harmful for adults.” “I didn’t know, I only found out about the effects when it was too late…” You look down at the textured table. “Hey, it’s never too late, my friend died, but she was able to teach people about the problems with vaping, right?” “Yeah, I’m going to go talk to my friends, I have a lot to make up for.”