Paradise | Teen Ink

Paradise

February 2, 2014
By Ishika Momin, East Elmhurst, New York
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Ishika Momin, East Elmhurst, New York
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I awake in a strange place. Grains of sand pinch my cheek and the smell of salt water fill my nostrils. I get up slowly and cautiously brush sand off my shoulder. As I finally stand up, I take in the scenery.

It is breathtaking.

I am on a beach, directly in front of the horizon. The water is a deep aqua, mirroring the sky. The sun is up and bright. I use my arm as a shade and squint my coffee brown eyes. Wherever I am, it’s beautiful. I should possibly freak out, but I don’t. Something about this terrain gives off a calming vibe and soothes me. A sense of serenity, almost. I’m alright here. Here is safe.

I walk closer towards the ocean, clad in shorts and a tank top.

It’s a long trip towards the water and as I near, I’m not alone. Directly in front of me, is a guy who looks around my age. Maybe in high school.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hi?” I question more than respond.

“New here?”

“Uh, yeah. What is this place?”

“This place is whatever you want it to be.” He answers, a hint of mystery to his voice, a smirk on his face. That is certainly not the answer I was expecting. I study him for a few seconds, tilting my head. He’s wearing a button down shirt, rolled up to his elbows, and khakis. His hair is decent, a shade of chestnut. His stance is chill, not alarming. Overall, he didn’t scream ‘danger’. He looked kind of familiar.

“What’s your name?” I ask.

“Grey.”

“Like the color?”

“No, like the name.” He muses.

Of course, my conscious mutters. You’re an idiot.

“Yours?”

“Dakota.”

“Like North?” He grins.

“Haha.” I reply, in a dry tone.

I look around another time and curiosity creeps up my spine.

“Why am I here?” I demand, my tone softer than usual. Another grin. He grips my hand without warning and sunlight traces his sharp features. His eyes are the sky and his hands like the clouds. Soft.

We run, hand in hand. More like he's running and I'm being dragged along. The sand feels good between my toes. He comes to a halt, and I crash into him. I peek over his shoulder gently and see why he has stopped. I gasp.

Water is in a frozen state, in front of us. It's like the ocean is floating if that's possible. The reflecting blue color hits the palm of my hand.

"How?" I mutter.

"Check this out," he says, walking over to the block of water. He lifts his hand and runs it through the wall of water. Ridges form and the water reflects on his face. I walk over, and trace my hand over the water. My fingers graze across it and when I pull my hand away, my hands are dry.

“If you think that’s cool watch this,” he says, moving to stand behind me. I stiffen as his cool breath dances upon the back of neckline.

“Close your eyes,” He whispers. Not exactly knowing why, I oblige and my eyelids flutter.

“Okay, now think of a day when you were happy. Visualize the weather and all the small things. Solely focus on that day.”

I think of the day I had my first snow ball fight with my mom and dad. The snow was in thick clumps dampening my dirty blonde hair. My moms cheeks were rosy and my dads laughter boomed across the whole neighborhood when I fell. He made me feel better when he lied down beside me and we made snow angels. I miss times like that.

“Now, open your eyes.” Grey says softly. I open my eyes, and I’m back to that day. A white blanket of snow covers the ground. Snowflakes fall from the vanilla twilight sky. I let out a small breath that I was holding and a puff of smoke comes into view.

“Whoa.” I comment.

I feel the sudden need to jump, run, or even swim in the snow. I look down to see that I am still wearing my shorts. I don’t feel cold at all.

“You like the winter.” Grey hints, more than questions. I nod.

“It was a much happier time with my parents.” I explain, turning around. He nods in understanding. I walk over to a large amount of snow and lie down. My eyes close and I feel the flecks of frozen water hit my cheeks and my nose. I feel movement to my right and open my eyes. Grey has lied down next to me. I turn to him and he does the same to me. His eyes look like more of a grey color than blue under the snow.

“What do you like?” I ask, grabbing a handful of snow and forming it into a ball.

“Rain.” He replies, closing his eyes.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just like everything about it. The feel, the sound, the smell…” He says, drifting off. I nod and begin moving my arms and legs in a reciprocating motion. It feels good and when I close my eyes again, I visualize the day. My moms honey colored eyes were enough to keep me warm once we entered home. Dad fixed up some hot chocolate and we hung out by the fireplace. He made fun of me when a thin line of cocoa traced my upper lip.

I slowly open my eyes and sigh. I repeat my question from earlier, and Grey replies the same way.

This place is whatever you want it to be.

Right now, this place seems too good to be true.

I get up carefully and look down at my snow angel. As I admire it, I feel something hit my thigh lightly. I look down to see the remains of a snowball slip down my calf. I look up and see Grey with a grin on his smug face.

“Oh, you’re so on.” I say, reaching down to grab some snow. I quickly form it into a few round shapes and pelt them at Grey. I throw my fourth one and he sprints to the left, causing the snowball to hit the ground and camouflage. So, I throw two more and one hits him right in the middle of his broad chest. I grin in victory until one hits my neck. I throw a lot more at him and he does the same. After a few shameless rounds of throwing many snow balls, Grey gives up and I laugh. A real laugh.

“Okay, okay! I surrender.” He says, his hands up in defeat. His cheeks are tinted pink and his hair is damp, looking a darker shade of brown. Footsteps litter the snow ground.

“Don't start what you can’t fin--” I stop as snow hits my hip and I look up to see Grey beaming.

“You tricked me!” I say and get ready to throw him one, but his eyes snap shut. As I am about to throw it, the scenery morphs into a different one. The snow covered ground melts quickly along with the ball of snow in my hand. The water slips through my fingertips and I follow it as it drips onto the newly grass covered ground. Flowers begin to bloom at a crazy speed. I turn up to the sky and the snowflakes disappear. The sky is now a lavender color. I slowly relax and look at Grey. He peeks through one eye and sighs in relief.

“What happened?” I question.

“I thought of this so you wouldn’t throw me the snowball,” He laughs. I wear a puzzled look until I see my damp hand where I once held a snowball.

“Can’t I just think of snow again?”

“Nope. It’s a one time thing.” He responds, walking down a green path. I follow.

“You suck,” I comment. I receive a laugh in return. I follow him further until grass is seen only. The sunset explodes through the sky in remarkable colors. I stop and watch as Grey walks further and lies down. He rests his hands beneath his head and crosses his legs. I go to his left and sit down, cross legged. Plucking out a few grass blades, I watch the sunset. Pinks, purples, and oranges paint the sky.

Grey begins humming a tune and I look down to observe him. Long lashes fan his cheekbones and his dark brows are relaxed. His sharp jawline is shaded by the glow of the sunlight. His eyes flutter open and he smiles. I return a smile and lie down next to him.

I watch the endless clouds go by silently.

“Why am I here?” I ask, turning towards Grey and resting on my side.

“Only you know that,” He says.

"Are you ever going to answer me?" I groan. This whole mystery thing is getting on my nerves. The annoyance he carried strongly resembled someone I couldn't decipher.

"How do you expect me to know something only you know the answer to?" He asks, emphasis on the 'you'. I ignore him.

"Wanna see something else?" He asks. I nod eagerly. Everything Grey has revealed is exciting and unimaginable. He chuckles at my impatience. Getting up off the grass, he brushes off his shorts and holds out a firm hand. I take it gratefully and he sweeps me up. We stroll back to where the flowers began. Standing right in front of a patch of roses, I look at him expectantly. What are we looking at?

“Wait for it,” Grey mutters, reading my mind. After a few seconds, the ground begins to vibrate lightly and I watch in astonishment as the flowers bloom. They begin to blossom into enormous petals and leaves. The green stems begin to twirl and spiral upwards. They stop growing at about fifty feet.

“Whoa.” I repeat from earlier.

“I know.”

He takes my hand in his and leads his way through the maze and my fingertips skim the leaves. It’s like a forest. At one point, Grey twirls me in his arms and I laugh. As soon as he lets go, I turn around, but he is nowhere to be seen. I peek around the giant leaves. Nothing.

“Grey?” I call.

Nothing. All I hear are some leaves rustling and the wind swaying.

“Grey?!”

I begin to panic. What if he left and I’m alone? I have no idea where I am.

“Find me if you can,” I hear, a voice farther from me. I roll my eyes, but can’t shake the grin off my face. Grey is hiding somewhere and this meadow goes on for miles. It would take forever to find him. I hear an echo of a chuckle as I turn a corner.

“You’re not funny!” I yell.

“I wasn’t trying to be!”

“Well, I’m not spending all night looking for you…” I sigh, gently stroking the rich brown bark of a maple tree.

“All night?” He inquires, rather confused.

“Yes, all night.” I repeat, sitting crosslegged on the grass. I close my eyes and think of another place. A pier.

When my eyes open, sure enough, I’m sitting on the deep wood, my legs dipped in the cool water. In the distance, there’s a light beacon. The light is spiralling, laying on the waves and shining in the dark sky. I lean back, resting on the palms of my hands.

“You’re no fun,” Grey comments, playfully. He takes the seat next to me and dips his muscular legs into the water as well. I turn to him carefully and watch as the light dances on his broad features. I focus back on the horizon and admire it. From my peripheral vision, Grey’s head is turned towards me and I feel him watching me. Feeling a little uncomfortable, I shut my eyes and think of something.

Droplets of water began to spray my face and dampen my hair.

I look to my right and see Grey grin. The water makes his hair look darker than ever and his dimples are pronounced as the light hits his face again. I return a smile, and look up at the clouds. Shutting my eyes, I enjoy the rain as it travels down my hairline.

“What do you think of the rain?” Grey asks suddenly.

“It’s water,” I bluntly respond.

“I didn’t notice.” He humors. I chuckle.

“No, really. Use your imagination,” He continues. I fix my gaze on him and consider it. I always loved playing in the rain. I used to tell my dad the craziest thing about it when I would hear the light patter on my window sill.

“Alright, um. These are all the sad tears everyone has cried. Now that we’re all happy, we’re free to just laugh and dance in the rain. Enjoy it.”

“So we skip around in our tears?” He questions, a hint of amusement.

“Exactly.” I nod childishly. Grey gets up and offers his hand once again.

“What are we doing?” I ask as he lifts me up and takes ahold of my hands.

“What does it look like?” He asks, as he slips his hand around my waist and lifts my hand so it’s rests on his shoulder. He begins to move from left to right and I automatically follow his lead.

“We’re dancing in the rain?”

“Tears,” He corrects and I gasp as he lifts me up twirls around. It’s followed by our laughter. We begin to pivot relentlessly and I can’t help, but howl in laughter as we slip at one point.

I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.

After endless fails at dancing, Grey sets me down and lets out his own chuckle.

“That was fun,” He smiles, his arms loosely around my smaller frame. I nod and he frowns slightly.

“What?” I ask, suddenly feeling down as well.

“We’re running out of time. Think of one last place you want to go,” He explains, and I mirror his frown.

Running out of time?

Obliging, I close my eyes and think of place I’ve always wanted to go and open them.

“New York City?” Grey asks. I nod and my frown slowly fades as the streets come into view. It’s night time, the sky a dark indigo. There are endless lights of yellow, blue, and red. The skyscrapers are huge and tower over us and lights shine. I smell the cool air and the aroma reminds me of a place I’ve always wanted to be. A place my parents always spoke about visiting. Grey and I are on standing toe to toe on the street and the city is completely empty.

“It’s amazing,” Grey comments in awe. I silently agree.

“Where do you wanna go?” He shrugs, and I grin. So many places to go.

“C’mon,” I say and it’s my turn to take a hold of his hand. I run over to a huge toy store and walk in. The place is ginormous and a spiral of stairs lead to the top. There’s a smaller section of the store that reads, ‘Dylan’s Candy Bar’. I beam as my eyes land on the mountain of gummy worms. I go over and grab a few but then my conscious kicks in.

I turn around to see Grey already nibbling on a huge gummy bear.

“Isn’t this stealing?” I ask, examining a yellow gummy worm.

"Is there anyone here?” He retorts.

“Good point,” I agree.

“If anyones here, we’re about to eat all the candy!” Grey yells. No answer. I shrug and munch on the gummy worm and spot a few pixie sticks. I grab a blue one and Grey says to toss him one. I toss him a grape flavored one and eat a few more goods. There’s a lifesize lego building house to our right.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Grey says.

“Mhm,” I mumble as I begin to walk up the stairs.

“Wait,”

I turn around and face Grey.

“My turn,” He says, taking hold of my hand and leading the way out.

We end up at a ice skating rink. The ice is transparent and looks sturdy. The huge space looks inviting and I find myself following Grey inside.

“Ever iceskated?”

“Yeah,” I reply as he hops over the edge.

“With your socks,” He continues. That’s a first.

I look down at my slightly soaked sneakers. Ah, what the heck. I slip them off and walk over to him. He lifts me over and onto the ice. With my first move, I slip and fall right on my hip.

“You okay?” Grey asks, concern lacing his features, but I can still see a small smile.

“Peachy,” I grunt and proceed to get up, using the glass for support. Grey starts sliding around in his grey socks easily. I try following his lead but fall at least ten times in the last five minutes.

“Okay, my turn.” I say in surrender and hop out of the rink. I slip on my sneakers and he follows suit, with an amused expression. I walk out onto the streets and look around.

“Can I think of a place within this place?” I ask, turning to Grey. “Sure,” He shrugs. I close my eyes and think of a slightly dangerous place. When I open my eyes, were on top of a tall building. I stand a few feet away from the ledge and gasp. The view from up here is astounding. The lights are scattered throughout the city like small pebbles. We’re so close to the sky that I feel like I can touch the clouds. I’ve never felt so… alive. For once, in a long time, I didn’t feel like I’m just living.

I’m breathing.

“Do you know why you’re here, yet?” Grey says from my right. I nod because I do know why.

This place is void of everything that I feared. Everything I hated. It has everything I wanted. Everything I needed… I was sick and tired of feeling senseless. I needed an escape. To anywhere really. This place is surprising and fun and beautiful. Here, I forgot about the sad things. But, in a good, distracted way.

This place has a deep meaning to me.

“You look like you do,” He comments as he stares at me.

There is something else I’m missing and it’s the reason why I’m here. I had no idea why it seemed so vague. I didn’t mind searching for it if I had to.

“I don’t want to leave this place,” I admit. And it is the truth. Another frown traces his features.

“You--”

“I know,” I interrupt. “All good things come to an end, right?” I say. He nods slightly.

“Thank you,” I smile. “For showing me what it meant to let go and live a little.”

“That was all you,” Grey smiles. I reach over and kiss him lightly on his cheek. As I back away, he disintegrates into a million stars at once and disappears into the night sky. Everything begins to fade and becomes a black hole.

“Dakota?” Someone calls. My eyes are shut. I open my eyes slowly and blink as someone comes into view. My aunt. I look around and I’m in my room.

“It’s time to get ready, sweetie.” She smiles and walks out of the room. I look to my right and a picture frame is on my desk.

Mom and dad.

Everything fell into a place. It is the anniversary of their death. There is a small gathering being held in the honor of them. I didn’t feel as sad as I did yesterday. I didn’t know why.

“We’re always with you,”

My mother’s last words.

I sigh and stroke the glass encased photo. It has a metallic blue frame and I find myself being drawn to the accustomed color.

Grey.

It was all a dream.

Something about that one dream changed something inside me. Maybe it is the way I felt. Maybe I couldn't relive old memories or visit new places with my mind. But I could feel the way I did on that skyscraper all the time. Alive. I was depressed this last year and everyone told me it’d get better. I never truly believed them till now. My parents death doesn't have to be a burden my whole life. I will always miss them, but I know my parents wouldn’t want me to wallow in my depression every second of every day. It took me a night of adventures and a certain blue eyed boy to help me realize that.

I get up and decide what to wear as I hear a few people arriving already. When I go downstairs, it smells of pumpkin spice. A candle my mom always bought. I begged my aunt to light it every now and then. It warmed me.

Once I visit the living room, I’m greeted with sympathetic hugs and looks. I was known as quiet, but this time I wasn’t. My grandmother’s face lit up when I engaged in a conversation with her. She missed me and so did I.

After greeting family and friends, I make my way to the kitchen. My eye catches someone.

Grey.


Completely contradicted between my happiness to learn he’s real and thinking I’m going insane, I go over to my aunt.


“Who’s that?” I ask, hoping she sees him too.


“Your father’s friends son,” She replies. I nod in suspicion. “You don’t remember him? You guys were friends in grade school. They moved away, but came back a few months ago. They recently heard of the passing and decided to stop by,” She explains with a face full of sorrow. I smile.


“It’s alright Aunt Deb,” I say. “I’m fine.”


She seems taken aback and I’m startled when she engulfs me in a bone crushing hug. “I’ve been waiting a long time to see that gorgeous smile of yours,” She says, letting go. “Me too,” I agree. We stare at each other, her coal-like eyes sparkling.

“Okay, now go. I know you want to talk to him,” She winks.

I laugh and leave her to finish preparing some coffee.

We were friends in grade school? No wonder he looked so familiar.

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to Grey. I assume that's his name. He looks up from the floor once I reach him and smiles. The dimples are prominent and his eyes look bluer than in my dream. Then again, everything is a blur.

"Dakota, right?" He asks. I nod.

"I'm Greyson. But please, call me Grey." He chuckles. I nod again, a timid smile taking place. He smiles and then his face saddens.

"I'm very sorry about your parents. Your dad was like a brother to mine." He says, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"Thank you," I mutter. "I'm feeling better, well atleast now." I continue.

"That's good to hear," he replies. If only he knew he helped.

"Did you guys come earlier?" I ask, changing the subject. I did hear people arriving before I got dressed.

"Uh, yeah. We arrived about an hour ago."

"Sorry about coming down so late." I mutter. "I was somewhere..." I say, not completely lying.

"Oh, where were you?" He asks. I think back to Grey's words.

This place is whatever you want it to be.

I think of how the place changed me in ways I didn’t think possible after my parents death. It was honestly perfect. Everything about it. Kind of like what Grey said about the rain.

I don’t know. I just like everything about it. The feel, the sound, the smell…

I felt safe and happy in that dream. No evil, dark thoughts. Just bliss.

I smile as I answer.

"Paradise."



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