Pastel Yellow | Teen Ink

Pastel Yellow

December 15, 2020
By Scr33ching, Hemet, California
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Scr33ching, Hemet, California
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Favorite Quote:
Wood fired pizza? How's pizza gonna get a job now?


Colors; a concept that always fascinated Renee. The way they interacted, blending to make seamless gradients, the way that they made up our world entirely, filling every nook and cranny with their vibrant hues and shades. Though, Renee had a stronger connection to them than most others. Each letter and number had a specific color assigned to it, always the same, unchanging. For example, the letter ‘N’. ‘N’ was vibrant gold, blazing like the sun every morning as it trudged over the land, sending its scorching hot rays down over the earth. People and sounds also had their own unique colors as well. Renee could see her own color even now as she stared at herself in the tall mirror in her room. She was a dark, navy blue, like the deep sea in the middle of a raging storm, angry waves crashing high over each other. It was like a cloud around her, floating around before the ends vaporized into the surrounding air like hot steam. Renee had projective synesthesia, a condition where some of her senses overlapped, letting her see the world in new, unimaginable ways. It never bothered her, in some cases, it even helped her remember things or people. She stared at herself, analyzing her features. Her wavy brown hair was a frizzy mess, stopping just short at her shoulders. She wore a white dress shirt under a loose, long-sleeved, white and forest green striped sweater, as well as black leggings and a pair of black boots to match. Renee trailed her stare slowly back up to her face, which was lightly dusted with freckles. She stared silently at the reflection, two chartreuse green eyes stared right back at her, seemingly staring into her soul. She sighed, the sound barely escaping her lips. The brown-haired woman knew she had to leave the house, she had her new art college to attend. She just wasn’t excited to go through the whole, “being new” process, meeting everyone, explaining who she was, why she was there. Renee turned away from her reflection, grabbing her rough, dark green canvas backpack, scouring around her room for materials. She snatched up a few paint-stained pencils, an ancient notebook or two, overused markers, pens, a tin of dull-colored pencils, and a few other supplies she thought she might need. She tossed in her crumpled-up schedule as well, knowing for a fact that she would need it. She stuffed all the items in her bag, and after zipping it shut as well as watching the maroon and teal spots fade, she slung it over her shoulder. With that she left her room, navigating through the winding hall and through the living room, where she grabbed her jingling, amethyst tinted, keys and opened the door, shutting and locking the door behind her with two nearly identical ‘clicks’ that exploded with tangerine and honey yellow when she locked the top and bottom lock. Renee turned on her heels, her hair spinning with her, almost like a dress would when you twirled and skipped down her driveway to her car. Her Kia Soul sat patiently as a cat loaf on the concrete, its silver coat shimmering and reflecting in the sunlight like a bright, lonely star in the pitch-black sky. Renee opened the silver car door and hopped in, shutting it and turning her car on. The car hummed to life, sending little waves of light salmon pink out into the air as she backed out of her driveway. As she drove, she turned her radio up ever so slightly, the man speaking dully over the crackly speaker was the color of bubble gum, with little darker spots of fuchsia floating lazily out of the pink mess before fading away into the air. Maybe this college wouldn’t be too bad.

Renee stood in the hall, looking like a sad little lost puppy. Colors blazed and flashed around her as students pranced by, laughing and chatting with each other. Room 1412 was the room she needed to find. Crimson red, lime green, crimson, and deep jade green, were the colors she needed to remember for her room number. She started walking forwards, glancing at the room numbers and their corresponding colors as she passed. After a while of searching, she eventually found the room she was looking for, though she was a bit late now. The lavender-colored bell had rung out its clumsy ring, and dispersed all the students and their correlating colors, leaving her, and her navy blue-tinged cloud, alone. Though it was much easier to find her class, not having to worry about ramming into another person. Renee took a deep breath as she stood in front of the classroom door, and after checking if she had the right class multiple times, she finally pushed the heavy wooden door open with a sky blue creak and stepped inside. The teacher turned to look at her, as well as a good portion of the class, but Renee ignored the other students, focusing purely on the teacher who smiled warmly at her. “ Ah, Renee, right? Welcome, welcome.” Renee nodded, watching the warm, coffee brown particles roll off the teacher. “ I am Mr. Deiveto, can you introduce yourself to the class and tell us a little about yourself?” This was her least favorite part, speaking in front of the class, all the eyes on her. However, she nodded, and took a slight half-step forward, turning her gaze to her new peers. Renee took a sharp breath in, forcing her mind to calm down and stay on track. She didn’t focus on anyone, in particular, instead opting to look just above their heads at the cream-colored drywall, plastered with motivational quotes and old pieces of art. “Hi, um... I am Renee Wilson, nice to meet you. I mainly work with watercolor and oil paints, as well as traditional color pencil sketches.” She stated calmly, despite her voice wavering slightly like leaves on a windy day, due to nerves, turning to Mr. Deiveto for more instructions. He nodded with approval, giving a polite smile back at her. Renee never liked to explain her synesthesia to people, there were too many questions that followed, too many people who thought she was faking, so it was always easier to just, not mention it. After all, they couldn’t ask questions about what they didn’t know. “You can take that open seat next to Carmen. Carmen, can you raise your hand please?” Renee shifted her green gaze back to the students, seeing one stick her hand up in the air. The woman was stunning and had warm, light brownish blonde hair the color of hot, shiny caramel. Her eyes were soft and kind, a matching, gentle hazel color to match. She was wearing a large, soft-looking oversized grey sweatshirt with dark blue jeans and some black Converse to top it off. “Thank you,” Renee says quietly as she steps forward, walking to her seat, sneaking glances at Carmen as she walks. She sat down in the uncomfortable blue plastic chair, taking out her various materials from her canvas backpack and setting them soundlessly on the desk. “Renee, right? I work with oil paints too!” Renee glanced to her right, seeing that it was Carmen who was speaking. She was a warm, pastel yellow, the color of those pale, sweet-smelling yellow roses you see in supermarkets, all bunched together in rows, accompanied by their red and orange companions. Her voice was cheerful and as equally warm as her color, sounding like light wind chimes in the wind, and Renee had to admit, her smile was contagious, and found herself grinning as well, butterflies did loops around in her stomach. “That’s cool, glad I have at least one person in this class like me.” Renee jokes and Carmen added, “Yep, now you have 13 other people to talk to, 1 down.” They both erupted into fits of light giggles, stopping abruptly as the teacher started to drone on about the study of inanimate objects for the use of drawing, his coffee-brown color swirling around him, threatening to swallow him whole. Even after that, the two girls passed notes on thin, lined white paper to each other secretly, like they were back in middle school. Even though nothing was officially spoken, Renee knew they were already friends, and she couldn’t be any happier.

At the end of class, Renee started packing up, shoving her notebooks back in her dark green bag, watching the colors of her peers light up as they chatted one another. It was like everyone had their own aurora borealis, their color floating around them, shifting, changing. She watched a fiery, ginger-haired man chatting with a long-haired brunette. The man was a deep, plum purple with hints of indigo on the wispy ends, and the woman was a light, pleasant red, dotted with dark bubbly yellow spots. Though a different, softer, yellow flooded her vision, one she instantly recognized as Carmen’s. Renee glanced up, sitting up straighter with a small smile. “What class do you have next?” Carmen questioned with an ever so slight tilt of her head. Renee genuinely had no clue, so she pulled her crumpled paper out of her backpack and attempted to straighten it out on the edge of the desk, sending swirls of copper into the atmosphere with each crinkle. She handed the paper to her caramel-haired friend, watching as she read it over silently. “ Looks like you have... Art history next. Ick.” She stuck her tongue out with an exaggerated disgusted look, which again, made both of them laugh. “What’s so bad about art history, hm?” Renee asked with a soft hum, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared expectantly at Carmen. “The teacher, Mrs. Perry. She is the most booooring. I might be bored to tears if I have to listen to her monotone voice longer than an hour.” Carmen stated dramatically. Renee thought she would be a great actor. “Though, you do have ceramics with me after, that class isn’t half bad.” She commented, handing back the wrinkled paper to Renee, who took it and put it in her backpack. “How is ceramics better?” She asked curiously, zipping up her bag and watching the teal and maroon spots yet again. Renee had a thought of what her answer would be, but she stayed silent, standing up and facing her pastel yellow companion. “Because I’m in it of course!” Carmen chirped cheerfully in response with a rather large grin. Renee called it, and she chuckled a little. “I knew you were going to say that!” She stated with a proud look painted across her freckled face. “You don’t know me!” Carmen shot back teasingly, and they both laughed yet again. “We should probably get to class, I’ll walk you to yours first if that’s alright?” The hazel-eyed woman offered, to which Renee nodded in response, she needed all the help she could get. They both started walking out of the classroom after Renee slung her backpack over her shoulders, and they both gave their cheerful goodbyes to Mr. Deiveto, who smiled at them, his cozy brown color seeming to wave like the ocean. Students were flooding the halls, sending different colors, shades, and sounds zipping by as Renee followed Carmen through the crowds, pushing past the people and hazes of color. As they walked, Renee decided to ask some questions. “So, favorite teacher?” Carmen thought about it for a second before replying. “Either Mr. Deiveto or Mrs. Rosenbaum.” She replied back simply with a short nod. “Mrs. Rosenbaum? Who’s she?” Renee asked. It seemed Carmen tended to forget she was new and had no idea who half these people were. “Oh, she’s the ceramics teacher, in the class, we have together.” She stated, dodging past a man who was surrounded by a bright cloud of orange. Renee had to speed walk to keep up with Carmen, almost losing her pale yellow tone amidst the blurs of other student’s colors. “What about... What’s your favorite food?” Renee questioned, too focused on not losing her friend to think of any actually good questions. “Easy, it’s mac n’ cheese. What about you?” Carmen fired back rather quickly, glancing at Renee with a smile, making sure she was keeping up. Renee had to take a moment to think about the question. “Sushi, probably.” She replied with a shrug. The number of students in the hall was starting to thin out, making the walking easier for the two of them. “Sushi?” Carmen echoed half to herself, obviously not a big fan of sushi. “Yep, sushi.” Renee confirmed, stifling a bit of laughter. Carmen didn’t say anything else regarding that, but to Renee, it was pretty much obvious what her thoughts were. “You get one more question because we are almost there.” Carmen said as they continued walking. Renee thought about this one for longer, watching her friend for a second before finally asking her final question. “What’s your favorite color?” She asked. As someone whose world revolved around colors, this was a valuable question to Renee. For crying out loud, she saw whole people as colors. It allowed her to see what Carmen thought of the world, what she valued, what her true personality was. Carmen seemed to dwell on this question for only a few seconds, stopping outside of the class Renee presumed was her Art History class, before answering. “I think navy blue is a pretty color. What’s yours?” Now, whatever Renee was going to say was tossed straight out the window as she heard Carmen’s answer. That was her own color. Carmen couldn’t see her color, could she? And for some reason, this thought made her jittery with a mix of nerves and excitement. Her face was warm and probably dusted with a light shade of pink. “Pastel yellow.” Renee blurted out quickly in response, which was true because green was no longer her favorite color, it was yellow.

Carmen was right, Art History was incredibly boring, except for the part when she had to introduce herself, which was just straight-up stressful. The cornflower blue colored teacher droned on about something Renee couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to. Tuning her out, she started doodling on the corner of her paper, drawing flowers and sketches of people, which suspiciously looked like Carmen. She realized this and promptly scribbled them out, the grey graphite masking the previous sketches from the dull, cold colored lighting of the room. The scratching of her pencil was a light, moss green color that Renee liked quite a lot, but not as much as the yellow Carmen was surrounded with. After what felt like ages of listening halfheartedly, and more doodling, the class finally ended, the bell ringing it’s same lavender ring as the class exploded into conversation. Renee packed up her things again in her rough green canvas backpack, knowing this was going to get repetitive. She zipped her bag up, staring more intently at the teal and maroon spots as they appeared again and fizzed back out into nothingness like a soda. She never realized how pretty the colors looked together. She was jolted from her thoughts as she felt a rough shake on her shoulders from behind and a loud, “BOO!” Which made her jump out of her skin. Renee whirled around quickly, only to find that it was Carmen again, her warm yellow wrapping around her like fire, who had an amused expression across her face as she grinned from ear to ear. “You scared the crap out of me.” Renee said exasperatedly, though she seemed to relax after she realized it was just her. “Carmen 1, Renee 0.” Carmen replied, the grin still wide across her face. Renee decided now was the time to bust out with some of her ‘spectacular’ acting skills. “Ohhh, woe is meee...Your poooor, helpless friend, scared out of her skin by the one she trusted mooost... Whatever shall I dooo?” Renee drawled dramatically, covering her face and mock-sobbing into her hands. This all warranted amused giggles from Carmen. “C’mon drama queen, we gotta go to ceramics class.” Renee complied, but sighed dramatically, struggling to hold back laughter as they both walked out of class together, after she grabbed her backpack. They both walked to their class, Renee quickly ditching her dramatic act as they started chatting. They arrived rather early and were both greeted by a teacher, Mrs. Rosenbaum, Renee assumed from what Carmen mentioned earlier. She seemed friendly, but awfully busy, typing away at a computer screen. She was an olive green, with hints of orange the closer Renee inspected. They waited until more students arrived, taking their seats. Renee had to give her same spiel from the two previous classes, only with Carmen now smiling at her and giving a thumbs up under the desk at her, which filled her with a sort of happiness, and most importantly, confidence. The class went on after that, and nothing else too eventful. Mrs. Rosenbaum let the students try making a cup out of clay using the wheel while she typed away, occasionally helping students, and writing things down. Carmen and Renee were goofing around silently, smearing clay ‘accidentally’ on each other's hands. Eventually class ended, and for Renee and Carmen, it was time to leave. As the two washed their hands and cleaned up their area, Carmen handed Renee a small, folded up slip of lined paper, with zero context. She looked at Carmen with a confused stare, but the caramel-haired woman wasn’t looking at her. Renee shrugged slightly, opening the strip and reading the inside. It read, “ xxx-xxx-xxxx So we can text! :D” Her phone number, Renee realized suddenly, feeling like she was just zapped with a bolt of lightning. She quickly pocketed the number, turning back around to thank Carmen, but she was gone.

The author's comments:

Hey! I do not have synesthsia, so if anything is inaccurate, I am very sorry! I tried to do some research about it, but I still fear that I haven't portrayed it correctly. Thank you for understanding.

Renee was in her car sitting in the parking lot, the ac blasting fresh, cold air in her face. The sound of it was a dark, reddish-brown color, but she wasn’t focused on it now. She was texting Carmen, and sent a message saying, “hey, this is Renee, i’m glad I got your number.” Shortly after, her phone dinged and her cracked screen lit up with a notification, a dark violet cloud flew out as Renee read the message, her chartreuse eyes scanning over the words with ease, each letter lighting up with their own color. “ Hey, yeah cool it works. Sorry I left so suddenly, I forgot I had somewhere to be.” She nodded at her phone, her wavy brown hair bouncing slightly. That made sense, Renee did that too sometimes. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Ttyl then.” Renee tapped out her reply and sent it before looking up at the sky and the glaring sun through her windshield. June had always been her favorite month, not just because of the summer sun, but mainly due to the pride parades she went to each time, which is where she planned to go to now. She backed out of her crooked parking spot, heading where she remembered they were normally held, down a certain street. Renee parked her vehicle, leaning over she grabbed a pair of striped pink, purple, and blue bracelets from her glove department, sliding them on, and hopped out of her car after shutting it off, the salmon waves stopping abruptly. She could hear the cheers and calls of the people in the distance, the colors faintly appearing and disappearing. Renee started walking, the cheers getting louder with each step she took until they were deafening roars, colors crowded around her vision, honestly leaving her a bit overwhelmed. The brunette joined in with the cheers, yelling until her voice was shaky and rough like sandpaper, a drop of dark navy blue in a vast sea and spectrum of colors. After a while, she started wandering slowly, wading through crowds of people and looking at each of their colors. There was sea green, hibiscus pink, lilac purple, chili red, pumpkin orange... Renee could go on forever, naming colors, but her eyes stopped on one color in particular. She checked once, twice, even three times. It was a light, pastel yellow. Unmistakably, Carmen’s color. “Carmen!!” Renee shouted, trying to grab her attention. She did not hear her, so Renee called again, louder. Carmen turned, finally hearing her name with a confused expression painted clear as day across her face. That look of pure confusion morphed into a look of shock and surprise as light hazel eyes clashed with Renee’s yellowish-green ones. They both rushed to meet each other, smiles on both of their faces. Carmen was wearing the same thing as earlier, now with the addition of a rainbow flower crown adorned on the top of her head, and a dark orange, light orange, white, light pink, and dark pink striped flag pinned around her neck and displayed like a cape. They both hugged each other, glad to see one another, despite it only being an hour or two. “This is so chaotic, I love it!” Carmen shouted over the cheers of everyone else, to which Renee nodded in response wholeheartedly agreeing. “We should stick together!” Renee suggested, raising her voice so she could be heard. “Yeah, great idea!” Carmen immediately responded. As the day ticked on and the sun blazed on the parade, the two slowly became tired. They were given glow sticks, despite the sun being up, and they cracked them anyway, wearing them as matching bracelets. Carmen was looking at the sky for a while, squinting her eyes shut against the blinding glare of the sun. It was sinking lower in the sky, Renee noticed. It wouldn’t be very long until it dipped down past the horizon, leaving them in the dark. Suddenly, Carmen turned towards Renee, staring right at her, which of course made her freeze in place like a solid stone statue. “Can I show you something?” Carmen asked, her stare unmoving from Renee’s freckled face. It felt like some kind of intense staring contest. “Yeah, sure.” Renee responded, quickly losing their ‘staring match’ as Carmen turned abruptly and started running, shouting, “Follow me!” over her shoulder. So the brunette did, sprinting after her. Running was not a thing Renee enjoyed, but surprisingly, she wasn’t half bad, catching up with her in a matter of only a few seconds. They ran for a while, the cheers slowly fading, like the end of a good song, until the only things Renee could hear were her dark blue footsteps, her heartbeat pumping blood through her ears, and Carmen’s footsteps beside her. Eventually, they both stopped at a beach, gasping for air. “ Sorry.. to...make you run...I just didn’t want to..miss it.” Carmen apologized, panting for air in between her words. “ ‘s fine.” Renee reassured her with a smile. After they both caught their breaths, Carmen led her to an old, wooden doc, trekking through the soft sand and climbing up the wooden steps. Each step sounded like a pastel blue, creaking underneath Renee’s inky black boots and Carmen’s well-loved converse. The sun was setting as they reached the end, sitting down together and watching the sky. The sun was a vibrant yolky orange, yellows, pinks, blues, and yellows swarmed together in the sky, mixing together perfectly to make extravagant gradients that stretched across the sky, seemingly never-ending. Renee trailed her eyes down to the waves, which were gently lapping against the wooden poles of the dock, as well as the shore, creating a sage green color that floated away into the sky, only to come back a few seconds later as another wave came. The seagulls above cawed their laughter-like calls, royal purple bounced around between them. “It’s amazing here.” Renee commented quietly. Carmen smiled softly. “I thought you might enjoy it here.” She commented, turning her gaze to Renee, who stared back. “Thank you for taking me.” Renee thanked the caramel-haired woman, who nodded. The light yellow seemed even prettier than before. “ Carmen,” She started suddenly, “ Do you know what synesthesia is?” Carmen thought about it for a moment before shaking her head no. “Well... it’s kinda like when senses overlap. Some people might hear a word, and know what it feels like, or what it tastes like. There’s a bunch of different types. And I have synesthesia.” Renee explained rather quickly, more nervous than she probably should have been. Carmen took a second to process, nodding once more before asking a question. “What type do you have?” Renee was trying to figure out how to put it into proper wording. “I can see sounds as colors. I can see the waves of the ocean as they crash on the shore, it is like a green color. The seagulls are a dark purple, I am a navy blue, Mr. Deiveto is a light brown.” Carmen seemed rather amazed, nodding intently as Renee spewed out what she saw. Then a thought danced across her brain. “What color am I?” She questioned curiously. Renee held her breath for a silent second before letting it go. “Pastel yellow.” She responded. It seemed to take Carmen a second to think about it, and she could swear she saw the exact moment it clicked in her mind when she connected the dots in the puzzle. “My color is your favorite?” She asked, and Renee nodded. “Look, I know it’s really sudden, but...I think I may have a crush on you.” It sounded odd coming out of Renee’s mouth but it felt like it fit, like the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle. “I do as well.” Carmen responded, gently holding Renee’s hand. The brunette glanced down at their intertwined hands, seeing the dark blue and the soft yellow collide for a second, before melting into one another, a faint pine green emerging. Renee sighed, all her stress melting away, she leaned against Carmen, who leaned back a little. They stayed like that for a while, until the sun disappeared and the stars came out of hiding, winking in the pitch-black night sky. Even then, the colors remained, the royal purple, the sage green, navy blue, pine green, and pastel yellow.



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