trilogy/ Is this the first?

Okay, so I like the story you're writing, it reminds me vaguely of The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare--except, there was a coehesive story there. I feel like I'm missing pieces and I WANT TO KNOW THOSE PIECES. We leave Liz's home town, and feel no attachment for it. You have those characters, get us interested in Kasey, and then we abandon him for the majority of the story--I want to know THAT history, because it will draw my into Liz's story. Aaron is introduced, I WANT TO KNOW HIM, not just what he looks like. I like your story, I love the details, like the blueberry punch. I want more of THOSE things, because those are the things that initially drew me in. Keep those up so that readers stay interested. Here are the major questions I need answered for this story to seem coehesive: 1) Did she move to NYC? If so, why are her parents involved so little? If her parents aren't going to be involved have a reason or make her older. Easy fixes. 2) How did LIz and Aaron become friends? How did LIz meet James? WTF is up with James? Who is Crystal REALLY? What kind of relationship do Aaron and Crystal have? Answering these question will add interest and bulk up your story. It will keep your readers INVOLVED with your characters. 3) What are you trying to make me want? Here's the thing about great books: they make you want something. Sometimes they make you want someone. That's why we go insane over love stories and mysteries. Give me a taste of that and tease the reader, and then let them have that satisfying reveal. Whether is the answer to a question or the perfect love confession, something has to HAPPEN. Whew! Okay, those are the things that I think can make your story GREAT, because you already have a GOOD foundation. Keep writing!

There was actually some problems with Blueberry Punch, so expect that to actually be delayed until next month. Sorry!

If you liked this book, the second book of the Morphnior trilogy (Blueberry Punch) should be posted by mid January!

Blueberry Punch is going to start being posted soon, most likely starting next week! It will be Aaron's side of the story, which will tie into the final novel of this trilogy :)

Wow, your story was really good. And I hope you keep on writng some more poems soon. Can you please take a look at some of my poems and book please, Thank You!! :)