Abandoned: A retelling of Hansel and Gretel | Teen Ink

Abandoned: A retelling of Hansel and Gretel

November 19, 2011
By Wintergrl7 GOLD, Hopkinton, Massachusetts
More by this author
Wintergrl7 GOLD, Hopkinton, Massachusetts
19 articles 3 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
—William Arthur Ward
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.
—Daniel J. Boorstin


Author's note: This was a story for AP English I had to write. I had to interpret a fairy tale into a different genre while still using the same theme.

The author's comments:
The entire story, since there is no chapters

There were once two small children, Theodore and Mae, Theodore being two years her elder, a bright age of twelve. They lived in a small home with their father and stepmother, a cruel woman who never tolerated the children’s company. Brutus, their kind and loving father, if but a little ignorant, worked as a lumberjack for a small company and made just enough money to support his family. Years went by, and during these years the population of trees dwindled from the lumberjacks’ ravage chopping, until there were no more trees left to cut. The family had only what the father had saved, since his wife Crucia had no job.
The couple and the two children lived off only what their father could hunt and gather, which was barely anything, for he had spent his entire life as a lumberjack. When there was just a handful of old berries in the rotting cupboard, Crucia went to her husband with an idea.
“You take the old truck,” she whispered, malice twinkling in her old eyes, “and bring the two brats into the forest, deep into it, until there is nothing to see but wood. You leave them there, with nothing but the clothes on their back, and we will have a great deal more food for just us. Yes,” she breathed into her faithful husband’s ear, her lips breaking into a smile, “much more.”
Unknown to Crucia, Theodore was listening from outside the window, hate in his eyes and fear in his heart.
****
Mae and Theodore were bouncing around in their father’s old pickup, holding onto it’s edges so as not to fall. Theodore had spent the night and morning planning, and had collected a pile of stark-white pebbles and loaded them into his pants and jacket pockets, weighed down by the amount. Every so often, to not draw attention to himself, Theodore casually dropped a pebble out of the truck onto the cracking cement road. After another hour or so of driving through the thick woods, the truck came to a rough stop, startling the two children.
“Father? Father, where are we?” Mae hugged her thick winter jacket around her thin frame, looking at her father with trusting brown eyes.
Brutus took a deep breath, already regretting his decision, but afraid of what his horrible wife would do if she found out he betrayed her.

Pulling his lips into an almost convincing smile, Brutus lifted his daughter out of the truck and placed her onto the cold ground.

“This is where the best wood for the fire is, child. Your mother wanted me to bring you two so one day you can learn to collect wood yourself.” Brutus spoke in German, having always enjoyed his native language rather than the English he learned as a child.

“She’s not our mother.” Theodore grumbled, jumping over the rim of the truck and onto the pavement before his father had a chance to help him down.

Brutus ignored this, having heard his son’s angry comments many times before.


The three collected logs for a good part of five hours, all the while Theodore dropping the white pebbles. That is until, too tired to continue, they took a break in the deepest part of the dark woods. Brutus created a small fire for the children and gave them each half a loaf of stale bread, having saved it for them

in secret.

“I will go and try to collect more wood. Stay here, I will be back in an hour.”

Theodore, having expected this, assured his father they would be alright, and waited twenty minutes until he was sure his father was gone. Theodore carried his sister on his back, for she had fallen asleep before their father had even left.

Theodore followed the path of pebbles until he found the road, then followed it back to his home, arriving at sunrise.

Brutus, having already missed his poor children, was overjoyed, and welcomed them with open arms.

Crucia on the other hand was furious. She couldn’t believe she trusted her husband to do something as important as this, and brought it upon herself to get rid of the children permanently.

Again, Crucia had her husband drive the children far out into the woods, but this time joined him.

They drove farther and farther, hours past the point they stopped at last time. Theodore and Mae were nervous, more so Theodore. The day before, Crucia had locked both children in their rooms, preventing the young boy from collecting pebbles to mark the way. Instead, Theodore had to use half a loaf of bread he was given that morning, breaking it in his hands and dropping crumbs every few yards. Finally, after hours and hours of driving, the car lurched to a stop.

Again, Mae asked: “Father, what are we doing here?”

Again, Brutus answered: “To collect fire wood.”

And so the family began to walk through the woods, Crucia leading. She didn’t even pretend to be looking for wood, just trudged farther and farther into the forest, until the dying flashlight she was carrying was the only light that could be seen through the darkness.

“Daddy, I’m tired,” Mae resorted to whining, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

“Yes, I believe we can take a break.” Crucia looked around, scowling at the trees like they caused her some personal injustice.
“You two stay here. We shall find some dry logs to make a fire.”
Brutus and Crucia walked away, leaving the children without food or light.
Once more, Theodore waited twenty minutes then picked up Mae, asleep in his arms. Searching for the bread crumbs, the boy instead found a flock of birds pecking at the ground. Realizing too late what was happening, Theodore shouted and chased the birds away, dropping his sister on the hard ground. By the time all the birds were gone, so were the food they were eating: the bread crumbs that were supposed to lead the children home.
Mae looked up from where her brother had left her.
“Theo? Theo! W-why are you crying?”
“It’s gone. All of it.”
“What’s gone? Theo, you’re scaring me-”
“The crumbs! They were supposed to lead us home!” Theodore banged his hands on the ground, tears spilling down his sun-kissed cheeks.
Mae hugged her brother, tears staining her own soiled face, and prayed that soon it would be daytime.
****
Leta brushed her tangled brown hair away from her face and obsessively tried to rid her garden of all the offending weeds. Her garden was once beautiful, holding blooming flowers of every color and a bountiful supply of vegetables, all bordered by a gate of thick green bushes. But as she aged, so did her one prized possession.
Patches of weeds grew taller than the flowers that had lost their petals months ago. The vegetables, once overflowing in the garden, long ago were ripped away from the rocky dirt by hungry beasts. Her beautiful bushes were all but grass now, their limbs littering the ground with threatening thorns.
Leta paused at her sad attempt to restore her garden to it’s natural luster. Craning her neck, Leta listened carefully to the autumn wind. Something was wrong. This wrongness was strange, almost frightening.
Shrieks of joy were absent from her neighbors yard, as well as the usual noise of the cruel mother’s scolding that came soon after.
Leta had taken a liking to the children long ago, when they first moved into the small house, and missed their early-morning company. Every day they could the children would help the old woman around her house and would sample some of her fine pastries. At least they did before Crucia forbade them to around a week ago out of spite.
Leta didn’t know if the children just weren't up for playing today or something more serious was going on, but she was determined to find out what had happened to her young friends.
****
The children spent the rest of the night in a restless sleep, waking as soon as the sun touched the tall trees.
For days they wandered through the thick forest, searching for any road or town. But the woods, the largest in the country, hid the children from the rest of the world.
After the third day in the forest, the children came upon what seemed to be an inn, placed on the outskirts of the woods.
“Theo, I’m hungry! Please, lets go in, I’m sure they have food.”
Theodore studied the old building, and deciding there was nothing especially dangerous about it he ushered his starving sister to the entrance.
The boy slowly opened the door, causing a sharp creek to cut through the deafening silence. Theodore poked his head inside and stared wide-eyed into the room.
The main foyer was huge. Shiny wooden floors were covered in deep red and purple rugs, with multiple couches surrounding a blazing fire. Three chairs with the same twirling pattern as the couches were placed around a small antique chess table, midnight black with carvings running up its legs. The walls and ceiling were also decorated with complicated carvings, showing flowers and vines covering the smooth wooden surface. The ceiling itself was very high and arched, with a grand chandelier hanging down from it. Two black-marble staircases ran along the outside of the room, meeting at a balcony above the foyer, held up by four tall pillars.
The children, awestruck and effusive, gazed with amazement at the beautiful room. The inn, plain and interminable on the outside, seemed more like a medieval castle within.
Theodore looked at his sister and saw that the young girl was weak from hunger. Carefully, as to not damage anything, he took his sister by the hand and lead her to the open door at the end of the room.
Again the siblings stopped in awe, but for a different reason. The room itself was not even close to the beauty of the main foyer, but it was what was on the long wooden table that made them widen their eyes.
Uneaten food covered every inch of the surface. Duck, turkey, chicken, mutton, salmon and steak were just a few meats piled high on porcelain plates, while grapes, cranberries, peaches, oranges, and other fruits rested on a large metal serving tray. Cakes and pies sat next to an array of soups and breads, and cider and water in large jugs were placed by flickering candles. The amount of food on the table was profuse and the children immediately grabbed everything they could get, ignoring the sparkling white plates waiting to be used.
The children had already eaten two whole ducks when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. The children whirled around and at once saw a man, as old as the hills, studying them from the doorway. Frightened, Mae grabbed her brother’s hand while Theodore edged himself in between the stranger and Mae.
“Is this two small children I see? Come now, you must be tired from your journey. Let me make up two beds for you, no charge. People rarely ever come to my little old inn anymore, it being so far away from the city.”
The children, too tired and hungry to care, went back to eating while the old man went to prepare them a room.
It was true, most of the time the inn was empty except for its owner, the man named Huarwar. But when a group of hikers or tired travelers did come to his inn, they never left, for Huarwar would kill and eat them, something his ancestors had been doing since the beginning of time.
Huarwar was especially happy this day, children were his favorite meal but would very rarely ever come by his secluded inn. The old man was diligent and never lost one of his meals, and this was not about to change.
****
A cool breeze twirled around Leta’s limbs, though that was not what caused the painful shivering to run through her aged body.
Leta had just returned from visiting her neighbors. Brutus had sworn he had sent his darling children to a Catholic school in the west, that he had been saving money for years to give them this opportunity. But Brutus had been jumpy, almost afraid of Leta’s questions, and had let out a large sigh of relief when Crucia had asked the old woman to leave.
The whole experience was immensely disturbing and Leta wanted more than anything to accept Brutus’ story and forget about the whole thing. But Leta knew there was a chance the children were in danger. For now she would look for anything pointing to the children’s whereabouts and pray that they would be home soon.
****
That night Huarwar led the children to one of the bedrooms, one with one large canopy bed and dove grey walls. Theodore and Mae immediately collapsed onto the bed, not taking notice of their surroundings. If they did, perhaps they would have seen no window on the walls, or that there was no door knob inside the room, preventing them from leaving. Perhaps they would have become suspicious, but no, instead they fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When he was sure the children were fast asleep, Huarwar slowly opened their bedroom door and crept to the closet, which concealed a small metal cage just large enough for a grown man to fit in sitting down. The old man took the key hanging from around his neck and fumbled to unlock the cage, his horrible eye sight preventing him from being able to open the door on the first try. Finally when the metal quietly creaked open, Huarwar went to the children’s bed and lifted Theodore up, careful not to wake him. It took Huarwar a good five minutes to get to the cage with Theodore in his arms, for he was getting old, and a twelve-year old’s dead weight pressing down on his brittle pale arms was almost too much to bear.
Huarwar, out of breath from this small expedition, eased Theodore into the cage and quickly locked the door so as to not wake the younger girl. Theodore mumbled in his sleep, turning over in the small cage and causing Huarwar to freeze in his tracks. After about five minutes the boy’s breathing became normal and the old man went to go get Mae. Carrying her was much easier than carrying her brother, and Huarwar got to the kitchen in just a few minutes. He hastily grabbed the ankle cuff nailed into the wall and latched it around one of the girls thin ankles. She would have more freedom than her brother, being able to walk all around the small kitchen with the chain still on, though still would not be able to leave the room.
The next morning Mae woke up hearing a piercing scream from somewhere in the distance and woke with a start.
What....
Her foot was weighed down by a large and clunky cuff attached to the wall. Mae clawed at it, trying to free herself from the chain’s clutches and go find her brother, whose screams were echoing throughout the large home.
“Theodore!”
She ran to the door, banging on it’s surface, her voice raspy.
“Theo! I can’t get out! Theod-”
“That's enough.” Mae froze, hands curled in mid air, and slowly turned wide-eyed to face her captor.
The old man sneered at her, stating simply: “You will be quiet. You will do as I say, or he dies.” Then turned on his heel and trudged out of the room.
For two weeks it was like this. Huarwar would threaten the children if they cried, kicked and hit them if they continued, and taunted them with the thought of freedom. He was impervious to the children’s pleas, having committed this crime many times before. What truly confused the children, more so than even the cage and chains, were the meals he gave them. Theodore was given the food of a king. Each day he was given as much as he could desire, while unknown to him his sister ate scraps off the dirty floor.
One dark night Theodore heard Huarwar mumbling to himself outside the room.
“Eat child eat.
Your sins will be rewarded,
for when you are plump enough,
I will gobble you up whole.”
Theodore, realizing the old man’s plan, found an old finger bone at the bottom of his
cage. When Huarwar asked to feel his finger to see if Theodore was plump enough (for he was far too blind to be able to see it himself), Theodore would proffer the bone, causing a cry from Huarwar and a scolding that he should be eating more.

At the end of the fifteenth day, Huarwar came stomping into the kitchen.

“Start up the oven. It has been far too long, your brother must be good enough to eat by now.”

Mae’s chain was taken off, for the fire was on the far side of the room, too far for the chain to reach.

“I’ll be right outside the door getting your brother. If you so much as step outside of this room, I’ll eat you alive.”
Hearing the door slam, Mae hesitantly turned on the oven, tears streaming down her face. She knew if she did not do something soon, Theodore would be burned alive and cooked by the wicked old man, followed quickly by her.

Mae frantically searched around the kitchen for some kind of weapon, opening up draws and cupboards, but Huarwar was smart. Nothing than could be used to hurt him was in the kitchen, unless you counted dull sporks and small pans. Mae slumped against the wall defeated, when she had an epiphany.

“M-Mr. Huarwar? Hello, are you there?” She called through the thin door.

“Yes, yes. What is it now?” Huarwar came barging into the room scowling, “Have you turned on the oven?”

“Well, that's the thing. I never had to cook at home, I wouldn’t know if this is hot enough-”

“Fine, then. Let me show you, you insufferable little brat.” Huarwar pushed past Mae and opened the oven door, leaning in to feel the heated air.

Quickly, before she got scared, Mae ran over to where the old man was and broke the chain around his neck, freeing the key. Before he could turn around, Mae shoved him as hard as she could, and the wicked old man fell face first into the burning oven. Mae faced this all with resolute courage and slammed the door to the oven before he could get out.

Huarwar screamed, banging his fists on the door and pleading to be released. Mae ignored his pathetic cries for help and ran over to her brother’s cage, releasing him. The children listened as Huarwar’s screams died down until there was nothing left but a faint sizzling noise, and looked at each other.

“He is dead. Come, lets look to see if there is anything we can bring on the journey home.” Theodore and Mae split up and ran across the house looking for something they could use. After about ten minutes Theodore heard a cry from upstairs.

“Theo! Theo, look what I’ve found!”

Theodore ran into the room, and what he saw was remarkable. Diamonds, emeralds, rubies and other shiny stones spilt out of large cases, while beautiful jewelry was draped across every surface.

Theodore and Mae hurried to fit as many riches as they could into their pockets and sleeves, and soon they were on their way.

The children followed the road only a few miles away from the inn and slowly made their journey home. After another two days they finally saw their little cabin in the distance and ran with joy all the way back.

Brutus was overjoyed when he saw his children, having thought they were surely dead by now. His wife had left him, unable to live a poor life anymore, and he was all alone, contemplating taking his own life. Brutus welcomed Mae and Theodore with opened arms and listened to the tale of the phenomenon they told.

After telling their story, the siblings took out all the jewels they took from the old man’s house, causing their father to cry with joy.

The family was together, never had to work again, and all in all lived happily ever after.

****

Leta set her mug down on a carving-covered black table and stared out her window. A faint smile tugged at her lips as she saw Brutus sprint across his yard to embrace his tired children.

The siblings were safe, their father brought back from the thoughts of self destruction. The evil stepmother was gone and the family was restored, together at last. Leta absentmindedly reached for her chain necklace braided around her throat and fingered the dull gold key attached to it. Yes, the family was together again. But for how long, only fate would decide.



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on Nov. 25 2011 at 7:47 am
Wintergrl7 GOLD, Hopkinton, Massachusetts
19 articles 3 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
—William Arthur Ward
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.
—Daniel J. Boorstin

please comment!!!