If I kissed you... | Teen Ink

If I kissed you...

March 20, 2012
By KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown


Summary:

The killer turned his head to me, his dark, chiseled face giving me a small grin. “I'm going to kill your weak little boyfriend.” he breathed, trying to get me to react. I did, not caring, shaking my head no, pleading with my eyes.
“Hah!” he laughed at me and wrapped his large hands around John's throat. Tears streamed down my face. “NO! NO!”
And then the shears were planted into his shoulder. He let out a roar of anger as he fell back, off John his head landing near my feet. I raised my feet and landed them, hard as I could on his skull. His head re-vibrated off the floor boards and settled back as his eyes slowly closed. John ran to me ripping off the tape, I screamed from the pain. “John he's tied us all up! Get the shears, baby, get the shears!”


Katherine A.

If I kissed you...


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 128 comments.


KateLA GOLD said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 12:18 am
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

Thank you-I am going to be writing a part three, so just wait a week or two and you'll find out what happens in the end.

on Apr. 9 2012 at 9:23 pm
torilynn400 GOLD, Poughkeepsie, New York
10 articles 1 photo 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
-President Franklin Delano Roosevelt

awesome! thanks!

KateLA GOLD said...
on Apr. 9 2012 at 9:21 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

Just wanted to tell you that part 2 is in-hope you like it!

KateLA GOLD said...
on Apr. 9 2012 at 9:16 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

Thank you so much! I'll return the favor and comment on your prologue :-)

on Apr. 9 2012 at 3:05 pm
Allicat001 SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is not someone you can live with, love is someone you can't live without."

"Always stand up for what's right even if that means you're standing alone."

Flawless.  That's the only word I've got for it.  This was really well written and the suspense was perfect.  I was slightly confused at first when you flashed back, but otherwise this was really good and I will continue reading! 5/5

KateLA GOLD said...
on Mar. 29 2012 at 12:29 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

Wow you're critical! I don't agree with the plot only being a 3.5/5, but whatever.  I respect your opinion on it, just as everyone else has their own, and will keep writing and changing however best suits my book as it goes along. You would make a great critic by the way!

on Mar. 29 2012 at 8:52 am
WritingVincent SILVER, Calgary, Other
7 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything comes from something."

It's hard to explain... As if... I could tell that it was written by a young person, which isn't a good thing in nowadays book writing. I recommend a dose of my favorite author (who mainly creates horror stories), Stephen King, for more experience in the topic!

Here, I'll try to explain my views on it through ratings.

Plot:  3.5/5 stars
Characters:  3.5/5 stars
Settings:  4/5 stars
Word usage:  4/5 stars
Language convention:  3.5/5 stars

Total stars:  3.7/5 stars


KateLA GOLD said...
on Mar. 29 2012 at 1:42 am
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

Thanks for the comment! Would you tell me what was immature though, so I can improve it?

on Mar. 28 2012 at 10:58 pm
WritingVincent SILVER, Calgary, Other
7 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything comes from something."

I think you definetely have a talent for writing, and of all novel genres I believe horror to be your lucky shot.

Pros: I enjoyed the character development, along with the setting. There were many parts where I could see the action myself.

Cons: Didn't scare me at all (possibly due to my horror book addiction), and some of the writing style was a tad "immature" (for lack of a better word).

All in all, I liked it! And it's not often that I'll become absorbed into novel's on this site, so good job!


KateLA GOLD said...
on Mar. 28 2012 at 5:12 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

Sure I'd love to-I'll check it out! :-)

on Mar. 28 2012 at 3:56 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

Very thrilling! I like the suspense you put into your book and it has a strong beginning. Unfortunately, i could only read a page. You should put some foreshadowing in the beginning; to make the reader think what might happen next. Now, could you look and comment on my story (you'll find it by clicking my name) Thanks!

on Mar. 26 2012 at 7:48 am
torilynn400 GOLD, Poughkeepsie, New York
10 articles 1 photo 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
-President Franklin Delano Roosevelt

I can't wait! And it's funny because I'm not a horror fan lol

on Mar. 26 2012 at 6:55 am
earthhashope SILVER, Earth, Other
9 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
You alone are enough. You don't have to prove yourself to anybody.
Trust dreams. Trust your heart. Trust your story.
Earth without trees is like pizza without cheese!!!
Humanity is like an ocean. If one drop gets polluted, the entire ocean doesn't.

Very well written!! 

on Mar. 26 2012 at 6:55 am
WildImaginations BRONZE, Mumbai, Other
1 article 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imagination is a lovely place, but if I live in it forever, I wouldn't have been abreast with the real world.

Cooool.........!!!!! This story sends chills run down my spine.......!!!!!!!!! Good work..,....!!!!!!!!!! Bravo.......!!!!!!!!

KateLA GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2012 at 6:22 am
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

I know! Writing this book has been really interesting (and disturbing)-I haven't ever written a horror story, this just popped into my head. I'm not sure if this is good or bad news for you, but it is definately going to get creepier D-: Thank you for commenting!

Risingsun said...
on Mar. 26 2012 at 6:08 am
This kept me on edge throughout reading this, I am completely captivated and waiting for more! I want a part three!...Definately not for the faint of heart!

on Mar. 25 2012 at 2:19 am
torilynn400 GOLD, Poughkeepsie, New York
10 articles 1 photo 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
-President Franklin Delano Roosevelt

I read the entire thing. It's completely creeping me out but I couldn't atop reading and I want to read more!

NickyJ BRONZE said...
on Mar. 24 2012 at 11:45 pm
NickyJ BRONZE, Hyde Park, New York
1 article 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost

Yeah, don't fret Kate, it just wasn't my cup of tea.

I'm not much of a fan of these types of stories. I write dark things too, but in a different way. Its not the writing itself i didnt like, just the subject matter.

That aside, it was written very well!

KateLA GOLD said...
on Mar. 24 2012 at 11:32 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

I would be nice to know what you didn't like about it, but I guess your just not a horror fan :(

NickyJ BRONZE said...
on Mar. 24 2012 at 11:28 pm
NickyJ BRONZE, Hyde Park, New York
1 article 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost

I read the whole thing. How very Morbid o.e

I can't say I like it, but its written well in places.