I have a secret. It's not something anyone knows, or would expect from me.
I hate teenage activists.
Before you imagine acts of violence against me, let me explain why I would rather befriend an unabashedly apathetic teen than one who sends letters to his or her congressman and signs all the petitions.
Teenagers notoriously do things they wouldn't otherwise give a second thought to because they think it's cool, and activism is no exception. Whether it's a so-called environmentalist making little effort to reduce his carbon footprint -- mistakenly believing a couple "Save the Whales!" stickers is enough -- or a vegan wearing leather, teenage activist hypocrisy is rampant.
Secondly, I've heard too many teenagers whine about how difficult it is to be a vegetarian or vegan (it's not), how other teens are shallow (they aren't, at least in most cases), and such moaning is too often counterproductive to what they aim to accomplish.
As though that were not enough, some teens simply don't do their research. Contrary to popular belief, online petitions accomplish little, if anything, of substance. That's because it's impossible to verify every individual signature. And let's be honest: Congressmen only care about your opinion if you're in their jurisdiction, and even then it's fuzzy.
I realize that not everyone fits this rigid description. Actually, I've made many of the mistakes listed above, and more. But I learned from it and moved on, and that's what distinguishes bona fide activists from those who simply want to look good in the eyes of their peers.