High school is a completely new experience. It’s a totally different world and you, my friends, are at the bottom of the pyramid. Welcome to the best years of your life freshman. Now, let me tell you how to make these years even better than they will already make themselves. You have probably been told that to succeed in life you need to do well in high school, but what’s fun about that? Staying up late just to do all your homework and not allow yourself any sleep is absolutely no fun. However, the three words I am about to tell you will make your high school career much more enjoyable; become a failure. Lucky for you I am going to tell you exactly how to become this. This strategy may only take you as far as a manager at a fast food joint down the road, but hey YOLO, right?

First off, don’t ever worry about sleeping at your house. There are much better things to do at night, such as play video games, watch TV, or hang out with your friends. During class is the more appropriate time to sleep because, well to be honest, who pays attention in class anyway? Some teachers will probably have a problem with you taking a little nap in their class so to avoid the nagging teachers; I suggest always choosing a seat in the back where it is very hard to be seen. I can guarantee that you won’t miss a thing sleeping during class, but actually taking the time to sleep at night would take away so many chances to have fun.

Next, always remember that no matter how important the teacher says the homework is it’s really not important at all. There is no need to sit at home and stare at a piece of paper that makes no sense to you. How are you supposed to understand it if you were asleep in class? Let’s be honest with ourselves here, homework isn’t even effective anyway. Most students sit and pay attention in class and still aren’t able to do the homework. Instead of wasting time figuring it out, you’re having fun doing whatever you want. This step is one of the most important in failing high school because you will not receive points for doing some pointless assignment.

Finally, the last step to failing high school and definitely my favorite is taking a vacation whenever you want to. Who wants to wait until Thanksgiving break just to have a few days off? Not you! The simple task of playing hooky is one of the most efficient ways to fail. Now, don’t worry this is actually rather easy to pull off and can be done in four simple steps. Step one; set your alarm for about ten minutes before the school day starts. Step two; make sure your mom and dad have left for work and if they haven’t find somewhere else to spend your day. Step three; call the school using a different voice and act like your mother. Just basically tell them that you’re extremely sick and that you’re not sure when you’ll be back in school. Step four; enjoy your vacation before the vacation. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s really not that hard to be successful failure.

Class of 2016, you have a long ways to go before you graduate high school. If you really try hard to pass all your classes, these next four years are going to take forever to pass by. Why not just enjoy the last years that you can really live? Go now into your freshman year with confidence that it is the beginning of the rest of your life, just like everyone always promised it would be.