Because I Am A Lesbian
In my elementary school we used to have a big end of the year concert. Participation was mandatory and each grade had its own set of songs. In the fifth grade one of the songs we sang for the concert was “God Bless the U.S.A.” I ran through my house belting out the song under the pretense of practicing, but really I just liked the sound of my own voice. That was 8 years ago. I felt a strong sense of purpose when I sang that song. My face would flush with pride and my eyes would sparkle when I sang the lines, “And I’d gladly stand up next to you/And defend her still today/'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land/God Bless the USA”. 8 years later I cannot remember a single line of the song; except that one. I am proud to be an American, and I would do whatever it took to defend the freedom our forefathers so valiantly fought for. But I can’t. Because I am a lesbian.

I can honestly say I’ve wanted to serve my country my whole life. I remember being young and hearing stories from my uncle about being in the Air Force. I would imagine what it would be like to fly a fighter jet. My imaginings were more akin to the antics of The Red Baron, but still I had the spark that would rapidly grow into a flame of determination. I signed up for Air Force JROTC in the ninth grade, and loved every minute of it. I would run to my room after school and practice salutes and drills until it was time for dinner. I would make my Mom quiz me on the chain of command and the honor code. It got to a point where I was not allowed to talk about JROTC at the dinner table, because my Mom and step-dad couldn’t get a word in edge-wise. They were proud of me, though. When I graduated from boot camp my Mom gave me my great-grandfather’s shoe shine kit. I polished my shoes with care, and I felt so at home in my uniform. I felt like my life had some sort of purpose; something much bigger than me. I learned respect, honor, and discipline. Those lessons will stay with me for the rest of my life. I would love to fulfill my dream of protecting the country that lets me live my life the way I want. But I can’t. Because I am a lesbian.

I have always known I was a lesbian, even before I knew the word. I wasn’t like the other girls. I didn’t want to play with dolls or wear dresses. I wanted to play with race cars and get dirty. I wanted to be the father instead of the mother when we played house. There was nothing wrong with it at that age. Everyone said I would grow out of it. But I didn’t. I was at my cousin’s house one scorching summer day. He was a boy and so were his friends. They didn’t care that I was girl; if I could take a hit like them it didn’t matter. One of the boys suggested we have a water fight, and we all agreed enthusiastically. The boys started to take off their shirts and so did I. An older boy caught me and got angry. I couldn’t understand why; the boys were taking their shirts off, so I thought I should be able to do the same. That’s when I first realized that I was different. I wasn’t like the other girls when I got older, either. They wanted to wear makeup and talk about boys. I wanted to wear my dirty jeans and go exploring in the woods. I started noticing girls about the same time they started to notice boys. I didn’t think there was anything wrong. I have been openly gay for the past 4 years, and I’m not going back in the closet. I am happily married to a woman, and that means I can’t serve in the military. I don’t want to have to choose; I just want to serve. But I can’t. Because I am a lesbian.

The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy needs to be repealed. If, for no other reason than to uphold the laws of freedom this country stands for. It is unconstitutional to bar someone from serving their country based on their sexuality. It’s like saying heterosexuals are more human than homosexuals. I feel like I’m normal. No one is better than me, and I am better than no one. I want to do what I was born to do. But I can’t. Because I am a lesbian.