Imagine- You are in the PERFECT relationship. They take you out all the time, they respect you for being you, and they just love you. Until one day they start to get angry with you. At first it’s just criticizing. Then it becomes yelling and screaming. It grows and they start to hit you. It ends with a gun pointed to your forehead- I know that that was very harsh. But it had to be done. 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are being abused, whether physically, emotionally, or sexually. Most people that are being abused either don’t know that they are being abused or don’t know how to leave. That’s because they don’t know the signs of abuse.

If you’re looking to be in a relationship, watch for certain personalities in them. If they are very oversensitive, moody, angry, controlling, or jealous, you may want to watch your back around them. Showing these personalities means that they could be emotionally unstable, which isn’t good. Just because they display these behaviors doesn’t mean that they will be abusive, it just means that they are common personality traits in batterers. Also, you want to watch the way that they behave. If they want to be serious too fast, blame past relationships on their exes, blame their mistakes on others, subtly criticize you, have unrealistic expectations, believe in gender boundaries (women should stay in the kitchen, men should be the ones working, etc.), are cruel to animals or try to isolate you, those are warning signs that you may want to stay away from them. When people display these things, it could mean that they could try to do something to abuse you, or to make you depend on them. In addition, if they have a history of abuse and they say that they won’t do it again, they won’t keep their word. If they were abusive, they probably are still abusive.

When some people hear that others where in an abusive relationship, they think, Why don’t they just leave? You see, leaving an abusive relationship isn’t as easy as it seems. There are other factors that play in for different people. Some people can’t leave the relationship because of a disability (sometimes caused by the batterer, sometimes not.), distrust of police, and language barriers. (Booth, Stephanie) Other people can’t leave because of cultural reasons, pregnancy or parenting, embarrassment, low confidence, fear of shame from others, fear of worse punishment or that they have nowhere to go, they think abuse is normal, and they think that the abuser will change. Because of all these factors, more people are being abused. But the thing is, they just don’t know how to leave the relationship.
The thing is, YOU NEED TO LEAVE. Abusive relationships are very harmful to your body, as well as to your mind. After abusive relationships, some victims turn to marijuana and other drugs to cope, others sometimes turn to alcohol. In addition, they become depressed or angry to other people. Some people will come out of the relationship with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Also, if the batterer was persistently violent, it could cause a disability, or even death. You have to remember that it isn’t your fault that you were abused. No one will blame you for it, so there’s no reason to be ashamed about it. Most people cope with it by going to a support group for victims of abuse or seeing a counselor to talk about their issues.
Hopefully you now know how to avoid, leave, and cope with abusive relationships. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, reach out to someone you trust. Such as a parent, teacher, or a family friend. They will be able to help you in your time of need. You could save someone’s life by reaching out to an adult. It’s your choice.