I cannot believe I am actually addicted to something.

I truly believed that I would grow up and be top of my class, Valedictorian, accepted into MIT, in love, fit, happy. I'm not any of those things if you were truly wondering. After a while, everything just starts to feel out of reach, like trying isn't even worth it. It hurts to come around and see the disappointment in everyone's eyes, their tone a bit condescending when asking about academics, their thoughts about my failures suffocating me as each second passes by. It's difficult being the "perfect daughter" who dropped out of school once and fell into a couple addictions. It's difficult thinking that my parents would stop loving me sometime soon. But they never did stop loving me.

I have actually enrolled myself into a school where I will study what I've always dreamed of becoming. I am also graduating in 3 months which is extremely exciting, as I thought I would never see the day. I am also picking up my cap and gown today which has been the talk of the week in my home, mostly coming from me. I am feeling much better, though there is still one addiction that I can't shake off yet. I don't know how I'll get over it, but I'm not even sure if I want to stop. I attempted to put it off but I got my heart broken recently which has made me fall into the daily habit once again. Hopefully soon I'll be alright.