Every time Miley Cyrus attempts to grow up, a puppy dies, the tabloids hit, and some innocent, well rounded girl gets a new idea on how she can be just like her favorite pop star.

Being raised as a Disney child star, Miley has acquired that unwanted bubble of “Innocent Young One,” so breaking out of that will, of course, be hard.

Pretty much the whole world was up in arms when Miley Cyrus and her one-hit-wonder father, Billy Ray Cyrus appeared in an issue of Vanity Fair. (Aside: Billy Ray is sorta-kinda famous for his country song “Achy Break y Heart.” Still don’t know who he is? Don’t worry. Neither do I.) A picture of young Miley was featured in the magazine, which displayed her naked back to the camera, and her holding a blanket to her bare chest. Her red lipstick was smudged. Sexy.

But it hardly falls between the lines of “Disney Channel Appropriate.” She did issue a statement that she was “embarrassed” of the photo. Um, I hate to be so cynical, but sure you are, Miley. Sure you are.

Parents were very offended that a celebrity was posing semi-nude (which, you know, has never, ever been seen before because no one’s heard of Lady GaGa who happens to walk around with no pants on.)

There was also the Nick Jonas Scandal where she took photos of herself in her green underwear to send them to then-boyfriend, Nick Jonas. (Aside: Nick is the youngest brother of the band, The Jonas Brothers.) The pictures were leak, and it became a less explicit version of the Vanessa Hudgens Scandal (Aside: Vanessa Anne Hudgens is another Disney star, best known for her role in High School Musical. She took nudes of herself to send to boyfriend and co-star, Zac Efron. They were leaked. I wonder how) except it caused a greater uproar. Oh-no! Miley was growing up! I’d really wished she’d stay 12 of the rest of her life. Seriously. Maybe America needs to grow up.

As she gets older, her music changes too. From her first song, “Best of Both Worlds” which pretty much talks about the benefits of being a normal teen by day, rushing into a phone booth like Super Man and becoming a celebrity by night, busting out horrific tunes, to the more recent “Party in the U.S.A,” where she--gasp!--says the word “sex.” People have to realize that Miss Cyrus can’t be a kid forever, no matter how much they dislike it.

She’s trying (badly) to branch out, taking a role in the movie The Last Song, which doesn’t portray her as annoyingly perky Miley Stuart or Hannah Montana. Of course, despite bad acting and a totally horrible plot, the movie’ll rake in millions, simply because she shows her scrunchy little face. Good thing they added Miley to the suck-fest! Now that will guarantee them a profit.

Now, I’m not trying to hate on poor Miley. She’s a decent(ish) singer, and although her dancing and acting both--for lack of a better word--blow, she knows how to create a scene. She already has a lot of girls in her back pocket; to get the guys, all she needs to do is another pole dance at an award show.