Pettiness | Teen Ink

Pettiness

April 3, 2023
By harleyneaves BRONZE, Gouverneur, New York
harleyneaves BRONZE, Gouverneur, New York
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Pettiness: a behavior that constitutes an emphasis on small, unimportant things, often being unkind unnecessarily. We often see pettiness as a common thing, chuckling when a person describes themselves as petty. Or a character trait to describe family members or friends lightheartedly. But I think the true ramifications of pettiness have been forgotten. It's important to truly understand the negative implications that pettiness brings. Growing up, I thought that I hated nothing. I took pride in it, not hating anything. But I understand now what my true hatred is: pettiness. And after contemplating it, I realized why I hate pettiness, and it is because nothing can truly stop pettiness. Pettiness allows no change, and change is life. And people discuss fear of change or disliking change, but they are thinking of the wrong type of change: negative change. Negative change is a change that is negative at the surface; the most commonly associated aspect of change. Like getting a bad grade on a test, or moving and leaving all your friends behind. But what many people fail to remember is that positive change exists as well, like falling in love, or meeting a new friend, or acing a test. All of these things are examples of positive change; a period where something good is to come for a while, or when a change occurs that has more positive side effects than negative ones. But there are also Stabilities that exist with changes, which classify periods of changes that are consistent in positivity or negativity. An example of positive Stability is finding your soulmate, getting married, going on a vacation for a week, or even just finding a person that shares your interests. These are all Positive Stabilities, a period where positive changes occur consistently, marking it as a stability. For a very long time, I thought that Negative Stabilities did not exist, or when they did they only lasted for a short amount of time- positive change always comes to those that need it, and even those that don’t. This was a thought that I proudly held, which is why I was so proud that I did not truly have a hatred for anything. Because there is no point in hating something that will soon undergo positive change, I would only be slowing down its moment of reaching positive change. The summit of positivity would change everything.  This belief was held strong until I came into contact with Pettiness. Because when a Negative Stability exists, which will soon undergo positive change, pettiness stops it from changing. Pettiness holds it to the ground with chains as it tries to float up, downing it in the cold water. Pettiness is the opposite of progress, through interactions and change itself: Pettiness only causes pain, anger, and grief; turning a negative change into a Stability. 

The message I have is short, but it is not easy. Change is scary, but change is life; the essence of something new, is life. If you choose to use Pettiness, for whatever reason, you are creating a negative change, and you are halting a person from undergoing positive change. You destroy any change to reconcile, to discuss, to connect. When you find yourself keeping positive change from happening, whether it be through pettiness or something else that prevents positive change; you have made the wrong decision. You have chosen to watch a negative change struggle under chains that you have placed on it. When you find yourself consistently using pettiness to hold down negative change, turning them into stabilities; you are a bad person. There is no way around this classification- you become a negative stability yourself. As you watch positive change flourish while you hold down a negative change; this is the actions of a bad person. Our goal as humans is to be relatively good and to succeed in leaving a positive impact on the world we live in. But those that decide against it, that choose malice for personal gain are not good people. This is why you really should think about your actions before acting in a heated situation. If you’re mad at your friend, don’t hold a grudge against them, you have to sit down with them and talk about how you feel. Because if you let your anger simmer, it will turn into hatred- and no matter what situation it is we have a job as humans to incite progress, and induce positive change; making the world a better place.


The author's comments:

This piece was written after a very close friend and I had a big fight. Sitting in my room, enraged about what happened, I thought about acting petty to them, catching myself being straight-up mean to them. And after discussing what I thought the meaning of life was, I realized that I have failed to achieve my own standards of living a good life. My own meaning of life being to be a good person and spread kindness, but I did the opposite. 

So I sat down with my friend and we just talked. We discussed why we were mad, and we realized that both people were pretty much in the right. We made up just like that- with some tension still existing of course, but the next day it brought us even closer than we were before. 


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