Understanding in a Relationship | Teen Ink

Understanding in a Relationship

June 8, 2011
By IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé


A poll from a social networking site asked what the most important thing in a relationship is. The choices are trust, communication and sex. Let’s examine each of them and decide which is correct.

The number one in the votes is trust. Trust is when you have faith and confidence in the fact that your lover wouldn't betray you, hurt you or something. It keeps you from having doubts on him and from being paranoid. This makes a relationship strong because it gives both of the lovers the assurances that they are trusted and reliable – everyone needs to feel trusted and reliable.

The one that has been second in the votes is communication. Communication, in my opinion, is not just the phone-calling or meeting in a park or a house. It is more than hello’s, how-are-you-doing’s, I’m-fine’s or any other kind of conversation. It is the way of expressing your thoughts to your partner and his/her thoughts to you. And it is important since it is the way you can express your trust to your partner.

The one who got the least votes is sex. Well, from my point of view, sex is for physical intimacy only. Even though some people say that it’s as well an emotional one, I say that there are better ways to express your emotions. For me, sex is not that important in a relationship between a boy and a girl or homosexuals. It is only important in making a baby – if you know what I mean.

It took me days before realizing that none of these three choices is the most important. The most important part of a relationship is understanding. Understanding is the when you weigh if someone’s reason is reasonable enough for doing what he/she did. It is when you put yourself in his/her situation and ask yourself what you would do if you’re in the same situation. It is when you accept a person for what he/she is. It is what keeps a relationship strong no matter what kind of relationship you have – be it friendship or sexual or something. If you cannot understand a person, you wouldn’t be able to forgive, show sympathy or accept.

I’m not saying that trust, communication and sex are not important in a relationship; I’m just saying that the most important thing, in my opinion, is not included in the choices because the most important thing is understanding. But we all have our own points of view and opinions. So what, in your opinion, is the most important thing in a relationship?


The author's comments:
While I was spending time in a social networking site, i saw a poll which asked what the most important thing in a relationship is. The choices are communication, trust and sex. My answer is understanding even though it is not included in the choices.

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This article has 9 comments.


on Jul. 3 2011 at 2:49 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

In FaceBook...
YOu know, there are like question in that site and I stumbled upon one that asks what the most important thing in a relationship is. The choices are trust, sex and communication and I couldn't even add something... so I write this...

on Jul. 3 2011 at 1:53 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

can i ask what social networking site? all the reasons that were in this are important sweet job

on Jul. 2 2011 at 12:15 am
AvengedJasonfoldForever BRONZE, Middletown, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You are about to die. Scream if you Must." -Fire Emblem character

I think you're definately on the right track. You sure do have a sense of humor and wit.

In my opinion, you can never go wrong with the ability to make someone laugh >:D


on Jul. 1 2011 at 1:11 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

haha.. ill work with it :)
thank you so much...
"in my opinion," i should really work on it... :)) i think it's much better without the my-opinions thing.. :)

on Jun. 30 2011 at 10:36 am
AvengedJasonfoldForever BRONZE, Middletown, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You are about to die. Scream if you Must." -Fire Emblem character

see that's what I'm saying don't worry if what you write bothers people so much :P

on Jun. 30 2011 at 4:16 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

Well, thank you..

Oh, and sorry if "in my opinion" bothered you..I'll work with it..:)


on Jun. 29 2011 at 7:40 pm
AvengedJasonfoldForever BRONZE, Middletown, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You are about to die. Scream if you Must." -Fire Emblem character

See, I read on your profile that you're not 100% confident with English. So I don't know how to be 100% confident in giving you harsh feedback :P

As someone who is trying to learn Spanish as my second language, I know my writing voice in Spanish isn't the same as my voice in English. That's just because I don't know the language all that well. Let me say this--I've read a couple of your articles and your English is very good. Better than my spanish anyway :P

That said, I think it couldn't hurt to be less woried about clarifying your opinions. You have a tendency to re-explain things and keep reminding people that "in my opinion..."

We know this is your opinion. Don't worry so much about offending people. State things as though they are facts, and then people will take it as they will.

Listen to stand-up comedy--especially political guys like Lewis Black or Chris Rock. When they say things, they state them as though they are facts. Granted, those guys might sound a little bit angrier than you, but you can learn a lot from how they deliver their opinions and how humor can make the audience agree with the speaker.

Basically the key to making anyone agree with you is establishing intimacy. Giving them something that they relate to. When you're talking about communication, give examples that people can relate to.

You're on the right path though. There's a lot of humor in these articles. Once you master the language more, I'll bet you'll be even more confident to try even more humor bits and stuff. Have fun with it!


on Jun. 24 2011 at 11:14 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

This is pretty good and I do agree with you!!!!! Although I kind of think they are all kind of important.   Very good job!!!!! :D

i lov u said...
on Jun. 21 2011 at 7:35 am
i think this essay is not enough for the topic wrong choice.i think this is the writer's wrong choice.not good,u should try again.