One day, a little duckling was born. He thought he was normal, just like his siblings. The little fella tried and tried, but no matter what, he was different. Other ducklings made fun of him and laughed at him, calling him ugly and repulsive. The sad part of the story is, HE ACTUALLY WAS UGLY AND REPULSIVE. Every human being has some ugly and repulsive in them.

This is why I will help you realize you’re not as ugly or repulsive as you may think..probably.

Think back to high school, for some of you, that may be 19 minutes ago. But think about those times when Mr. and Mrs. high school freshies were standing right in front of YOUR locker and --you guessed it--macking it. You would try to awkwardly go around them or tell them to stop, but they just kept on going. Yeah, it’s gross, it happens. However, even nastier are the back-hand slaps that come from the unnecessary holes on the front of certain individuals’ faces..or sometimes even their fingers.

What I’m talking about is drama. No, not your sitcom bologna that people watch for fun. I mean the exaggerated and pathetic fights that you see in the hallway or online. You’d be surprised how many back-handed slaps can come from just one Single Pringle’s ill-informed mouth.

The obvious question is, “Why would anyone want to start drama??” Well, nobody –I think—actually wants to be a part of drama. So when these upset and flustered broken-up Dick and Destiny start throwing word-punches, they don’t mean to actually drag other people down into their fight (At least most of the time).

To help you understand what causes so much relationship drama, here are some helpful statistics:

Real, important issues: 1%
Personality Clashing: 10%
Break-ups/Hook-ups: 89%

So my greatest piece of advice for you is to STAY AWAY FROM COUPLES. If you know the two BEFORE they start to date, it is –generally—ok. But if you only know one, STAY THE HECK OUT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. If you don’t, soon enough you’ll be hearing “he said” “she said,” “I heard Jenny cheated on Jim,” “is it true you’re going to ask Jenny out?” This will almost surely result in a nuclear war on your mental state of mind.

Before you know it, you’ll be sucked into every rumor related to those two people (or sometimes more). Then you’ll never here the end of how you ruined this or she ruined that. Rumors become accepted and you become rejected.

Yeah, sure, this may just seem to affect your high school years, but think about the future. Soon enough, you’ll become that sad person who eats by themselves in the cafeteria who never goes to prom and has to go to some bottom-notch school where you’ll learn how to be an excellent plumber. Then you’ll have a thriving local business in which you’ll be commonly known as the Bummer Plumber. Say hello to butt-crack, your new best friend. So please, for the sake of my eyes, don’t test couples.

Last but not least, avoid giving any of your time to worrying about couples. If they fight, let them. If they’re happy, that’s great! Just always remember the simple tricks and you’ll be able to dodge bullets of harassment.

If you find yourself inside a huge trouble-making-rumor, simply keep your head held high. 99% of any rumors about you are false. Don’t let them get inside your head. You’re doing great, so keep it up!

But remember you ugly, repulsive duckling, you still have a butt-crack.