I slid my plate of chicken tortellini and Caesar salad onto the large restaurant table. I was with my ice hockey teammates, lunching before a championship game. One glance revealed that I was the only one who wasn’t “connected.” Every. Single. Kid. Had an iPhone. And they all were on the same app, taking selfies, then sending them to their friend two feet away. Couldn’t they: one, get their friend’s attention, then two, make the funny face at them directly? They did this the whole lunch, laughing and making kissy faces into their phones. Their devices might as well have been glued to their hands.

During lunch, a parent walked over and announced: “Could you put your phones down for five minutes, and have a proper conversation? Please!”

Even after his urgent message, at most five out of the seventeen kids there put their phones under their legs, while the rest kept them in their hands. The table fell silent. I realized that without the support of social media, they didn’t know how to communicate. Notice a problem?

Nowadays, teens use iPhones, iPods, iPads, and smartphones in daily life. Around ten years ago, only adults had cell phones. They flipped up, and some even had antennae. Now, even in my school, where the parents understand the limits and repercussions of social media use, 93% of my classmates still had mobile devices, and 50% of those kids had social media apps. When my teacher Anne taught in Washington, DC, all of her sixth grade class owned the latest model of the iPhone. We’re talking eleven and twelve year olds.

To collect more evidence, I sent surveys to the parents. I received great quotes along with the data I needed. One parent stated: “ [Kids and teens] need to have good face-to-face communication skills before adding the complexities of social media.” There. That parent must have telepathically known what the whole point of this essay was. As children get older, they’ll need to be able to know how to talk to each other. This was a skill that was easy to acquire in previous generations. They simply had to communicate face-to-face; there was no social media then.

A second parent who posed another great point said this: “ We believe young brains don’t benefit from screen time. As we tell them, there are too many other options for things to do— go outside, make something, play, etc.” That was, and still is, a phrase repeated in my household over and over again. And, my parents are right. Social media can be time consuming, and outside, I can get exercise and not be glued to a screen on a beautiful afternoon.

Those parents were aware of the problems of screen time and social media, but not all parents are. In 2012, Apple Insider conducted a survey. It showed that 40% of teens had an iPhone. Then, in 2013, 55% had them. That is a rapid increase. Remember, that doesn’t even include teens that own iPod touches, iPads, or smartphones. Is this okay? That should be a resounding NO.

I believe that this should be resolved. If you are a teen with a mobile device, monitor your time on social media. Know that in the future, you will need to know how to communicate face to face, not through a screen. Parents— did you have, or need a cell phone when you were sixteen or younger? Did you have to rely on one to communicate with your peers? Do you want your kids to not have to rely on a mobile device to communicate with peers and adults? I would.