Sex offenders and neglectors seem totally different, right? They’re not. They’re all part of the same horrific category… child abuse. So what is this form of abuse? Why do parents, friends, relatives, even teachers, abuse children? What are the effects of abusing a child, and how can it be stopped? There’s not one right answer, so we’re going to explore every aspect of child abuse. The real question is: what’s discipline, and what’s abuse? Child abuse is wrong, and needs to be stopped.

First off, who are these abusers? Where do they come from, and why do they abuse innocent children? Reasoning for child abuse is different for each and every person. Sex offenders often abuse because they’ve had something drastic happen to them in the past. An investigator went into a jail cell of three sexual abusers and questioned them. They all replied with similar stories of how a tragic event in their past caused them to act out on others. She reported afterwards that the men in the cell weren’t monsters, they simply committed monstrous crimes. Physical abusers have several reasons on acting out. Some which include the thought that they don’t have the right parental qualities such as maturity or organization. Others abuse because they feel better about themselves once they do abuse a child. There also can be other factors such as mental problems, anger issues, social stress and anxiety, and a percentage are also drug/alcohol abusers as well. Some parents want to reflect through their child, or have the “perfect child” that everyone wants to be like. There can also be an issue if step parents are involved. Many instances of child abuse have been with a step parent involved in the family. When a child has a step parent, they’re not automatically going to be abused, because usually that’s not the case. But there have been many cases in which the abuser has been a step parent. Sometimes abuse can be more common with single parents. The grief of having been divorced or never having a spouse around can really add up, and abusing seems easier than normal discipline. Normal discipline is also a whole other topic. Some parents think an occasional spanking is okay when it comes to disciplining their children. Other parents think there should be no physical confrontation whatsoever. Both opinions are fine, but, there is no need to hit a child at all. It’s a child’s nature to have fun and goof off, and spanking them only scares them. A parent can tell their child what’s right and wrong, instead of making it physical. Child abuse has happened for ages, but there was never a system for it until now. In the past, it was a parents’ choice how to treat their kid, but now, there are support groups and systems so the abuse can be stopped. The statistics for abuse are scary. 77% of sexual abuse victims are girls, and 23% are boys. 77% of all abusers are parents, while 11% are relatives of a child. That makes 88% of abusers relatives and family of a child, which is proven to be the greatest danger. We’ve all heard of physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, etc. But, there’s a lesser known form of abuse that most people don’t even know is considered abuse. Emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is when a parent blames, discounts, or exposes their child. This can be through acts such as name-calling out of anger or “tattle-tailing” to his or her own daughter. This can lead to a child having insecurity, poor self-esteem, withdrawal, or performing destructive or angry acts of harm.

As well as abusers and emotional abuse, there’s also neglect. What is neglect? Neglect entails to failing to the basic needs of a child, whether physical, educational, or emotional. Educational neglect is when a parent allows their child to miss school whenever they please, or to the extreme, don’t enroll their child in school at all. The most common ages for a child to be neglected is 8 years of age and younger. It’s statistically proven that families with incomes less than $15,000 a year are more likely to neglect than households with incomes more than $15,000 a year. Although it’s not heard of as much as other forms of child abuse, it is the most common form. Usually when people hear the word abuse, they think of physical abuse. A parent who fails to meet their child’s basic needs is a neglector. The different types of neglect are health care, personal hygiene, nutritional, household sanitation, inadequate shelter, abandonment, supervisory, educational, emotional, and fostering. These all land under the same category of neglect. Neglect overtime can exhaust a child, especially if they’re ages 3 and under. When a child is neglected, their stress system is activated and can alter the formation of neuro pathways in their brain (coping/thinking). This can also create a bigger fear response in a child’s brain. There have also been several instances when a child has had motor vehicle-trauma. In most of the instances, a child has been in the cargo area of a truck, or they were seated in a car with no seatbelt on, and this can be considered neglect, but is also extremely dangerous. 1 million of 3 million child abuse victims were abused by maltreatment, which is not having enough sustenance and nutrition in their day to day lives. This and many other forms of neglect can effect brain growth, and in the long run effects a student’s IQ.

While I’ve been throwing a lot of facts your way, you might also want to hear some instances where abuse has taken place. Sophie and Jimmy went from being normal kids with normal lives, to prisoners in their own childhood. Both have similar stories, both scared to even live. Sophie’s story starts when she was about 7 years old. She could only remember a 12 month period between the ages of 7 and 17 where she wasn’t sexually abused. Her parents had no idea, but she was constantly being abused by her parent’s friends and closer family friends. It started with 5 different men with the same story of how beautiful and special she was. She had no clue what sex was, and was uncertain what was even going on at the time. She was so uncertain, that she didn’t want to tell her parents because she thought that they would be mad or upset. She even thought it was her own fault that this was happening to her. Her parents had no clue what was going on and thought these men were still their good friends. Some of the men would start tracking her down too, a bunch of creepy pedophiles. The fourth time it happened, there were 4 men coming towards her at the same time. When it was all over, she was covered in blood and her clothes were torn. It didn’t end the happiest… she started drinking and doing drugs to take the memories and pain away. But, when she finally came around and told her parents of what had happened, they believed her and she got help. Just like Sophie, Jimmy was sexually abused, but his story is very different. Until his later childhood, Jimmy thought his parents didn’t want him. His father barely ever talked to him, and when he did, it was for disciplinary reasons only. It all changed for him when his father brought him into a dark room and raped him when he was an innocent 7 year old boy. He told him, “Don’t tell you mother.” As a 7 year old little boy, Jimmy had no clue what was going on. Confused as he was, he never told anyone about what had happened. And then it happened again, and again, and again. He went from wanting a dad, to being terrified of living in the same house as his dad. From then on, he always had trust issues with his father. He wondered why all of his friends had perfect dads, and his treated him like he was a piece of dirt. He began having troubles with girls at an early age. He always thought back to the instances with his dad, and would get uncomfortable and awkward. His situation got so terrible, that he started questioning his sexuality. Jimmy didn’t give many records on what happened afterward, but his father was put in prison. On October 25th, 1994, Susan Smith sent her car rolling down the side of a hill into a lake with her two sons strapped into their car seats. Michael was 3, and Alex was 14 months old; both sons drowned. Smith made up a story of how it was all a big accident, and how she feels terrible, and she even made up an elaborate story about a man high jacking her car. But, after a fair trial, the real story was revealed. Smith was having an affair with a very wealthy man, and he didn’t want anything to do with children. She was sentenced to a life in prison. Many people today still talk about Susan’s story, and wonder why she would throw her life away like that. At a time in America where there were no laws against any form of child abuse, the stories were awful. 9 year old Mary-Ellen of New York was found chained to her bedpost, emaciated and severely bruised. This took place in the 19th century (1800s). Her parents were allowed to raise her how they saw fit, and abusing their daughter was how they saw fit. There are records of 3 adults who checked into different hospitals because they had similar symptoms. All had some sort of chest pain, weakness, visual blurring, headache, wheeziness, dizziness, no appetite, numbness, and blindness. All had no physical cause, but once they were interviewed, they got down to the bottom of their troubles. The 31 year old man had gained custody of his 6 year old son recently, and admitted to being afraid of inflicting injury on the boy. Once he linked his fear with his symptoms, they went away. Same with the two other patients...they abused their sons and daughters, and once they linked the abuse with the symptoms they were having, those symptoms went away. No one really knows if there are real connections with symptoms like so, but there have been many instances physically with the abuse of one’s own child.

The effects of child abuse on a child are long-lasting, no doubt about it. Something so tragic doesn’t ever go away. There have been cases in which a victim of child abuse in one form or another, have turned out successful in the long run. To start out, a story about a young woman, whose life hasn’t always led in the most positive direction. It started when she was sexually abused by her neighbor. It happened for a while, and when it finally stopped, the wounds wouldn’t heal. She began using food and sex as an escape. Her teenage years were said to be the worst. She started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. When she went away to college, her neighbor eventually passed away, and she remembers just hanging up on her mom when she called to tell her the news and started to weep uncontrollably. She said she was going through an emotional breakdown. All of her memories started coming back to her. When she didn’t feel bad that he had died, she’d feel bad that she didn’t feel bad. But, when she did feel bad, she felt bad. Basically, she was just really confused on what to feel. Once she got the news, she began drinking and doing marijuana. That was her only escape from all the pain and memories. She went to a therapist, and the medications that she was prescribed made her weep uncontrollably, and were obviously not helping. She never told anyone about her past, and bottled up all of her anger over time. It got so bad, that she started cutting herself, and even tried committing suicide, thankfully unsuccessfully. On the other hand, there are positive effects that have come out of child abuse. Another victim of child abuse is Kayla Harrison, a professional Judo Olympic medalist. Kayla was a very determined athlete. She would do anything to keep competing. When she had broken bones, she would still participate in every Judo competition. No matter what, Harrison found a reason to keep fighting. Once her coach started sexually abusing her at a young age, she would use fighting in Judo as an escape, and even to punish herself. When her Judo team got together for team sleepovers (yes, the coach was invited), he would wait until Kayla’s parents went upstairs, and started making her feel uncomfortable. He always favored her, and she never knew why. As Kayla got older, her and her coach were practically a couple, but out of force. She wanted to respect the man that would make her improve at the only thing she was really good at. The only reason that she stayed with him and never told anyone was because she was scared she’d somehow let people down. The abuse got worse, and people would start questioning their “relationship”. Finally, Kayla had enough of it, and she told her mom. At first, her mom didn’t believe her. But, after a fair trial, and her coach being plead guilty, Kayla’s life started heading in the right direction. She began using her story as a motivation to keep moving forward, and forget about her past. Although the pain and memories were always with her, she somehow got control of them, and became an amazing Judo star! Harrison found a better coach, and trained harder than she ever had. She eventually achieved success as an Olympic gold medalist last year. She is now happily married, and is moving on with her life. Not all abuse victims are able to achieve happiness and success like Kayla Harrison. Child abuse in the long run, keeps children from developing trusting relationships with adults. Though there are several options for treatment, the scars last a lifetime. The child could grow up with low self esteem, or high anxiety. Developing different kinds of disorders is quite common as well. The pain may go away, but the scars last a lifetime.

In conclusion, child abuse is wrong. Opinionated or not, the pain and fear caused to so many kids around the world is just awful. There’s an obvious difference between a spank on the butt, and a punch in the face. Discipline has its boundaries, and is different for each parent. But, the moment it becomes physical pain, it loses its meaning. Parents are supposed to be an example to their child, not a burden. A child shouldn’t have to be afraid of their parent once he or she does something wrong. Of course, it’s a parent’s job to let their child know when they’re acting inappropriately, and discipline is always good… but making a child afraid by abusing them? That’s lazy and cruel, and it needs to come to an end. Are you going to be a bystander? How are you going to treat your child one day? The choice is yours.