Mrs. Red | Teen Ink

Mrs. Red

January 28, 2019
By Jmh24 SILVER, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Jmh24 SILVER, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

One plus one equals two

A is before B

And the sky is blue

Supposedly simple concepts

Are taught from age two

But somehow I’m still confused

And my little brain can’t handle the new

Math equations that may be easy to you

Remember Mrs. Red

When you told me to take a breath

While learning about

Miniscule rules and tools

That often made me feel like a fool

Remember Mrs. Red

How I’d ask to go to the nurse

To lay in bed

And avoid your harsh words

And the horrid jerks

Of terror in my chest

When I was trying my best

Yet still failing to take a breath

Like you said

Remember Mrs. Red how I cried

Everyday and lied about feeling sick

Even though to be frank

In my uncontrollably vulnerable state

It wasn’t a myth

I just learned from you

That it was a phase

And I was not distraught

And there was nothing wrong

And that I would somehow

“Grow out of” this long

And drawn out

Knot in my stomach

Remember Mrs. Red

How I had trouble feeling

Because I was too busy reeling

In my last bit of exertion

And you were too busy seething

At how I was a burden

Remember how you didn’t tell my parents

To let them know

That maybe this is why I was having trouble sleeping

Remember how at 7 years of age

I felt like I was in a cage

Of my own pain and rage

That you helped create

And two years went by

Of wanting to die

Yet you still

Put my constant panic

On standby

Remember how you yelled

When my eyes swelled

With tears

And it took years

To rid myself

Of these irrational fears

You instilled in here

Remember how you taught me

How life would be

And how the feeling of wanting to flee

The feeling of wanting to be

Dead

The feeling of

Dread

And the feeling of being in

Debt

Of a carefree time

Is normal for me

And you were right

Thank you for teaching me

About what life would be like

Because I’m still right

Where I was 10 years ago

All because

Mrs. Red didn’t get the memo

That a little kid

Shouldn’t feel the way I did


The author's comments:

*Mrs. Red is a pseudonym

 

This poem, along with a previous one that I have written (Maybe I'll Be Okay), is a very personal piece. It is based off of true memories and experiences that I have as a kid. I felt like I needed to truly find a way to express these bottled up feelings in order to accept past events at least a little bit, so I wrote this poem in order to do so. 


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