Late on my first day

I know one person, hadn’t spoken to them in years

walked into the office greeted by an old staticky radio

And a creepy yellow smile

Stomped through the empty erie hallway

Got to my brownish rusted metal locker

walked for five minutes to the beginning of 8th grade

I met my first friend that day,

Another lonely kid,

clueless

like me

my colored shirts and blue jeans

became

black hoodies black sweatpants

The bracelets on my wrists filled my sleeves

Bands names and logos covered my shirts

My hands and arms covered in black ink

The house fell silent as I couldn’t be pulled away from my room to talk to my family

My “friends” messing with the smaller guys

The bruises on his arms and his broken bags

Walking to the office,

Destruction of property and bullying.

WHAT

called home with a lump in my throat

A suspension I didn’t deserve.

Changed me.

My so called friends blaming me to cover their asses

A week spent at home over things I didn’t do

The last three months of school went by,

My headphones were my best friend

no friends once again

summer came

Slowly my closet filled with blues and greens

it wasn’t just sweatpants on my legs

No more 3 am nights, controller in my hands

pop cans scattered covering the floor

chip crumbs everywhere

The sunlight shocking us awake, only 4 hours of sleep

freshmen year

backpack packed full of paper

room scattered with old black clothes I wore daily

After a year of following the footsteps of others

Like a caterpillar coming out of his cocoon.

I finally found who I really was