At brink of Atheism

When someone was callously snatched,
I believed that you would return him.

When mother like aunt lost her love,
I thought that you would pitch in.

When my siblings became all on their own,
I felt that you would redirect the scene.

And so when mum’s cheek became wet,
I wondered what made you resist.

Out there when there are millions with a part of ‘em erased
God, do you still want me to believe that You exist?

I was taught,

That there is a Creator

That there is a Caretaker

That there is a Renovator.
But after witnessing millions perish,
Millions abandoned and millions decay,
God, do you still want me to think

That there is a Creator?

That there is a Caretaker?

That there is a Renovator?

I remember joining hands and muttering something
Believing that someone’s listening.
But can there exist someone
Capable of listening to billions?
God, do you still want me to believe
That you exist to listen?

I see that,
When we are the ones to help each other,
When we are the ones to start from scratch,
When we are the ones who comprehend loss,
When we are the ones battling vile storms,
Why then am I taught to thank someone I’ve never seen?

Dangling at the brink of atheism
I won’t remember the rituals anymore
I won’t remember the hymns anymore
All I will remember even years from now
That I wasn’t a born atheist years ago.