When I am old enough to rent a car, I shall drive a Hertz rental
With a full bottle of vodka
And I shall spend my April paycheck, just on gas
And drive five hours to my old roommate’s place,
And say I’ve no money for hotels.
I shall open my vodka
And talk about life ’till 3 a.m., just like the old time
And make her scrambled eggs in the morning
And make up for humdrum life of late 20s.
I shall go shopping with a credit card
And buy a Chanel Spring Collection purse
And learn to earn money for debt.

But now I must ponder upon my future again
And fill my bank account with dollars
And keep decency until I have a husband.
I must save for rent.

But maybe I ought to practice having a little fun with life?
So I know how to luxuriate
When suddenly I am old, and start my rented car.