Closing Her Eyes | Teen Ink

Closing Her Eyes

July 31, 2008
By Anonymous

There once was a girl with a power—not in the mythical or completely fantastical sense,
but simply a particular gift that she possessed.

And she could change the world around her.

If there was something wrong in her life,
something she regretted doing,
or that she felt should not have happened,
she could change it simply by closing her eyes.

By closing her eyes, suddenly the world was right.

It was perfect, it was wonderful, and she was happy.

To think that all she had to do was close her eyes to be happy, and everything would simply be okay.

But the catch was, when she would finally open her eyes, paradise was gone.

Nonexistent.

Only a dream.

Everyday she lived her life,
waiting until she could close her eyes
and go back to that lovely place,
the place where she truly felt she was alive,
and every night she went back.

And then came the day where her worlds collided, one spilling over into the other.

The boy in her paradise made known his affection in her reality, and changed her life forever.

But when he hurt her, each and every day,
when she would close her eyes to hide herself from him, she could not escape.

The safety of her world was unattainable; she was trapped.

One day, she couldn’t take it anymore.

If closing her eyes was what she had to do to change her world, then she would close her eyes—for good.

She’d always preferred one world to the other, and the choice seemed easy.

Her decision was made, and she closed her eyes forever the very next night.

But when she closed her eyes this time, her dream was not there.

Instead she floated in a sea of desperate nothing.
The nothing had no color, no sound, no feeling—no quality of anything, for it was only nothing.

She searched in vain, searching for a way into that world of joy she’d tried to escape to, but never found it.

And then she realized that it did not exist anymore.

Without her life as its basis, she had nothing to dream about.

She had nothing, for do we not base our dreams on our realities?

Without the reality to mold her dreams, she had nothing. She was nothing.

In death she had removed herself from reality.

Therefore, along with herself, her paradise was nonexistent, as it had always been.


The author's comments:
This never happened to me. It is entirely fictional to me. But sadly, this is a reality to some people. My heart goes out to them.

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