step right up—
edible popcorn for only 99 cents
day-old for 25
and for anything less, we’ll give you

the burned bits at the bottom of the machine
come on down—
bestselling novels 25% off

used ones fifty cents
and if you want, we’ll let you cart away

our moth-eaten, 20-year textbooks for free
we’ve got your pets!
pedigrees and purebreds

runaways and hobos, if you pass our spca background check
a free, grouchy three-legged mangy wench if you’ve got a history
houses for sale?
yes, castles, mansions, island estates

condos, apartments, cute one-roomed hostels
a bathroom on the corner of Broadway and 125th

if you’re really destitute
pick a card! any card!
omniscience be our rightful trade

we’ll grant you a sex life

a lonely life

or no life at all
step right up—

you want it, we sell it
real or not