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Read Between the Lines
Friends shouldn't have to guess.
Why should they ever?
It's the middle of the summer, but why, when I try to reach out, do I feel like it's slipping into a bitter winter?
My backpack is actually light today, but why, when I smile as you pass by, do I feel like a couple more textbooks have been slipped in?
Your response to me in the hallway is reluctant, and why do I feel like the only time you talk to me is when you can't figure out the homework or you forgot when practice was?
Do you remember telling me you were excited,
Excited to have or to do anything together?
But when that day came I had to ask if I could sit with you.
When that day came, I barely got ten words from you.
Do you say "good job" just becasue it's the polite thing to do?
Upon of our rare conversations you mentioned, "So you know that I am friends with-" wait.
Friends since when?
What about being friends since seventh grade?
I'm not saying this is all on you.
I have a part to play in this as well.
I should make every effort possible to reach out just as much as you should,
But why does this feel so one sided?
Rather than meeting me halfway,
I am running most of this race for you.
I will bend over backwards for you, but please,
Don't have me reach the ground just to tell me to stand back up again.
I apologize that I prefer to curl up with a book rather than paint my face with makeup.
I apologize that I am a smudge of white on a black canvas, and that my interest don't mirror yours.
I may not fall under the popular category, but do you really think sitting with me is an act of charity?
There is an unambigious understanding between what friends are and what friends aren't, so why am I trying to read between the lines?
Friendship is when you are asked out of nowhere, "How are you?"
Friendship is when you both had a crummy day but let me give you a hug anyways.
Friendship is before you even say what's wrong she responds with, "How can I help?"
Friendship is the surprise tickle from behind, and a grin and wave as you walk to your next class.
Friendship is making eye contact across the classroom and supressing the laughter you feel trapped in your stomach.
Friendship is inside jokes, and embracing each other's differences.
It is genuine, understanding, magnanimous, and trusting.
It is holding hands through storms and clear skies.
What is left of our remaining relationship you call friendship.
I'm confused.
Will we put the broken pieces back together?
Just say it.
I am tried of trying to read between the lines.
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This is the slam poem that I wrote for my writer's workshop class. This is based on what I feel like is happening to the relationship with what once was a close friend of mine.