Secret | Teen Ink

Secret

April 1, 2009
By EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Alone,
with vacuous
eyes staring blindly.
Quiet, but for tumultuous
noises inside an already befuddled
mind. Silently, I sit, brow furrowed,
lost in thought, in an engulfing emptiness
that I have created, and I know that
I have a secret, and the secret is mine.


The author's comments:
Hey! I'm Edyt, and I love reading, writing, and public speaking or debating. I greatly admire the poet Edgar Allan Poe, and I strive to emulate his style when I write poetry. With this poem, instead of keeping a constant rhythm, I increased the number of words by one for each line. Therefore the first line has one word, the second two, etc.

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This article has 37 comments.


on Sep. 23 2011 at 9:17 pm
Anonymous_7 SILVER, Branson, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
-The only time you can get away with murder is when writing a book!

This is a cool way to write a poem. and a great piece of work. would you mind and check out some of my work? Thanks!

EdytD SILVER said...
on Nov. 21 2009 at 7:40 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
Thanks so much! That really means a lot to me, and I greatly appreciate your comment! I'll be sure to look at your work!

on Nov. 21 2009 at 9:51 am
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

I can't stop reading this poem! it's so good! :D Talented alert!!!! :D *Favorites*

on Sep. 7 2009 at 7:01 pm
FreakyEyed DIAMOND, Juneau, Alaska
53 articles 29 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"This, too, will pass."

Powerful. The last three lines were incredible! "in an engulfing emptiness

that I have created..." this reminded me of some of Poe's works, because of the element of madness/self-inflicted loneliness. It was melancholy and wonderful. Five stars!

on Sep. 6 2009 at 4:01 pm
Passion03 BRONZE, Brea, California
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
The Fan said... Be cool
The Roof said... Aim High
The Window said... See the world
The Clock said... Every minute is precious
The Mirror said... Reflect before you act
The Calendar said... Be up-to-date
The Door said... Push hard for your goals
--Unknown

Nice job

It really captures the essence of a secret

EdytD SILVER said...
on Sep. 2 2009 at 6:34 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
Thanks so much! And I think now that they changed TeenInk, it will show me when you reply, so that you won't have to reply on my poetry.

Joanna said...
on Sep. 1 2009 at 7:55 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
'Ello! I'm glad you liked my photograph. It is, in fact, posed. This particular one is the "Your loved one is jumping off a bridge" scenario. I posted it, although my personal safety is being threatened by the poser, because I thought it was perfect how the background was blurred while she is clear. I have no idea how that happened. I am not a photgrapher.

I already commented on this once before and I just saw the comment you made pertainting to my remark. I admire the theory in this poem, showing the "growth of the secret".

You have such talent for poetry! I admit, I'm at least a little bit envious.

Cheers!

Ruthey GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2009 at 5:15 pm
Ruthey GOLD, West Midlands, Other
16 articles 0 photos 19 comments
hey!



you commented my poem yonks ago, and so i feel i should comment yours back!

i really like this, the way it is constructed, the way it gets longer on each line.

and i love the ending!

it is such a good decisive ending.

you really capture the uncomfortable feeling and insecurity of having a secret.

i always have difficulty with endings :(

on Aug. 29 2009 at 3:05 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

Beautiful. Every word means something, it really makes you feel like you are the person.

on Aug. 27 2009 at 1:13 am
poetic_natural GOLD, Jefferson, Wisconsin
16 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"you know you're in love because you can't fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams"

very very impressive!!!! keep wirting cuz your poetry is great

on Jun. 30 2009 at 3:52 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

it was good. This is like free verse poetry from the ellen hopkins books somehow. It's very beautifly written.

EdytD SILVER said...
on Jun. 25 2009 at 6:23 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
lol it's always more fun to put in words that are fun to use. it also makes it sound more impressive.



i used this form to show the growth of the secret - starting small and ending big.

Joanna said...
on Jun. 25 2009 at 1:32 am
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
I really like the form you used for the poem. In my opinion, secrets always take their toll, one was or another. But if I'm going to be totally honest with you, I like this poem mostly because you used the word "befuddle" in it. Awesomness. ^_^

on Jun. 3 2009 at 4:14 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

First of all, I want to say thank you so much for the comment and constructive criticism!It really helps! I appreciate it! Anyway, I like this piece of yours. Its short with a lot of meaning and I could feel it. Keep up the good work! And again, Thanks so much!

Wolfy DIAMOND said...
on May. 26 2009 at 2:53 pm
Wolfy DIAMOND, Huntsville, Alabama
71 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
A room without a book is like a body without a soul.

I like free verse personally, and don't really have fave poet. Poe is good, but I like his sayings better than his poetry. My fave is:

"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."

Don't ask me why. I just do. You, however, are much better than he is. You are different in your own special way.

on May. 15 2009 at 7:44 pm
HollywoodFuture BRONZE, Medina, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
\"I was getting along with everything fine, I accepted it! And then you happened.\"
-A Walk to Remember

this is pretty good . i like it . i like it, because we all know what's it's like to hold a secret . bravo, bravo ! :)

on May. 14 2009 at 8:22 pm
banana PLATINUM, Johnston, Iowa
30 articles 0 photos 18 comments
Wow! Your stuff keeps getting better and better!

EdytD SILVER said...
on May. 11 2009 at 11:49 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
kick3593, if you had read some of my earlier comments, you would have read that secrets bother me to no end. This is clear in my poem. Although you might personally feel differently, I feel that this much was clear, and that as you are the minority when you say that secrets are to be cherished, you should therefore not state this as a known fact. As I clearly state in my poem, a secret is befuddling to me and makes me feel alone and empty. Therefore, a secret grows and consumes me, and is most certainly not a pleasant thing to have and know.

Diesel SILVER said...
on May. 11 2009 at 7:00 pm
Diesel SILVER, West Hartford, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments
Nice, very Poest. Evokes emo thoughts. :)

on May. 9 2009 at 12:54 am
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
Strnage how as the emptiness grows, the poem waxes. But I don't really see a secret like that. I think a secret is something you enjoy to keep. You prefer it, cherish it, make love to it sometimes.