Failure,

an old friend.

Not always so

But now

As I continued to make my way up the river

Blocked by problems molded into boulders

Trying fruitlessly to shove them to the side

Dissolve them into nothing

while swimming against the tide

My muscles filled with burden

Resisting you

the current made of unmet expectations  

which would otherwise force me backwards

The strain spreads like a disease

I let go

Instead of being sent  

to where I first got in the water

A branch reached out to me

Stabilized me

Allowed me to swim forward

The full picture can be seen

Gratitude for the constant feeling of

ice being stuffed down my shirt

Gratitude for the seemingly endless pit that followed

Where I could hear a sitcom audience moan monotonous disgust

Gratitude for the split second,

when this world lost colour

All for the feeling of warmth when the ice was gone

And heat returned into my body

All for the climb out of the pit

Inching towards the peak

to hear the audience break into cheer

All for getting to see colour reenter the world

As if someone had taken a paintbrush

and gently tapped it

One object at the time

A sight that can’t be appreciated without

Taking it away in the first place

Being pushed away by the current

Digging my fingers into loose stones

Wishing the tiny stones would hold my weight

Be able to pull me forward

When my fingernails fracture and my skin peels

Figuring out the way to kick my way back

Persevering

Reaching the other side becomes a victory

instead of an expectation

The bruises from you protect me

Layer added each and every time

To overcome the rocks

The current

Without you there all along I would be

A fly buzzing right into a venus fly trap

Eaten

I would fall the first time

and never be able to get back up

I would never understand

Success

Triumph

So while I might scream

Injured, bruised, broken

Fall into the pit

Be carried backwards by the current

Thank you for making me better