People see me as this, but this has

not always been who I am.           

I changed in secret.

          I always followed the alpha wolves

until the alpha wolves split into a pack,

           and the pack listened to the howl around

leaving one as a stray.

           I have this secret, buried above

work boots, overall’s, hard hats and regret.

           This isn’t a regret full of sadness but fear.

Not a fear of others but for others

      as colorful as their neighbors, pale, gone with the wind.

This is little more than a way of life,

         digging in the dirt, away from the surface

so that above there is a place for light where darkness rules.

           Something to stand upon, rather,

something to succeed upon. I strive to build this structure.

           After all it is those who laid

the brinks of the yellow brick road

           who saw emerald green from the end of the dock.