I remember sitting in the passenger seat

Way too young to be there

Passing semi trucks

And making them honk their horn.

I remember me and my sisters

Sitting on my dads lap

Getting to steer his car.

I remember packing everything

Moving one place to another.

Most of my childhood consisted of driving.

Driving from school to school

House to house

Man to man.

I never had a home as a child

I never had a safe place

Only thin walls

Thin enough to hear the yelling most nights

Only loud doors

Which are slammed and eventually broken off

I remember driving to the hospital after falling on my face

We stopped at the cemetery and gave Grandma T.T a visit.

We stared at the water and took in the cool breeze.

I remember driving to my best friend’s house

To cry into her arms

And wonder why my life is the way that it is.

For a long time I didn’t know who I was

Or who I wanted to be.

My mind blocked out all of the bad memories

And caused me to lose myself.

The memories are coming back.

They pile into my brain.

I am going through something I can’t explain

Something I can’t talk to about

But I’m surviving.

I remember very little from my childhood.

But instead

I’m driving towards my problems

Not away

And fixing what was broken.