I took a walk for Sydney down the beach into the waves,

The ocean churning at my feet, icy,

White foam caressing pale toes trodden in black sand.

I imagined two hands,

Yours and mine intertwined,

The rare joy sparking in your face despite the cold.

I think about the wind whipping our hair back,

Laughter as the water soaked our pants.

I wouldn’t have minded.

For you, Sydney, I will dance in the sand, swim in the frigid ocean,

Twirl as the sun dries our clothes.

For you, Sydney, I will cast off my shoes with reckless abandon,

Forget sensory issues and the need for socks.

For you, Sydney, I will find joy in both the most beautiful and hardest of places.

You deserve only the best from me.

I took a walk for Sydney, down the beach amongst memories,

Your tears falling amongst their salty brethren.

Haven’t you heard how salt water heals old wounds?

For you, Sydney,

I will master the art of suturing the psyche,

Learn to bend time and space,

Inching the edges of the divide together,

Closing the injuries of your heart.

For you Sydney,

I walk down this beach with light feet and heavy chest.

I am yours, always have been.

For you Sydney,

I will hold hands, no autistic space bubble as I sit with you in your sadness.

I will wipe your face and hold your body against mine.

I will fight the monsters that seemed to steal the air out of the room.

I will search for meaning amongst these sounds,

Find depths in the swells and crests,

I will look for you amongst the proud rocks that jut towards the sky,

I will find you where you loved the hardest and the most,

In the beauty you forgot existed all around you.