Dear Past,

They tell me to forgive…

To forget…. 

But when I say I have,

I lie.

I can’t reveal you,

I can’t even utter certain memories

Without feeling ashamed,

Hurt,

Betrayed,

Broken.

You have locked me in place,

With chains made,

Of bad decision after decision,

While you torment me

Dangling my only hopes

In front of my face

Before snatching them away.

You have made me who I am,

But you are not me.

I would die

Before I become the monster

I was once!

I would rather die

Than hurt anyone else.

Yet…

Despite it all,

I yearn for your comfort.

I want to know where you went.

Where did my innocence go?

Where is my childhood?

Where is everything I loved?

Where are my old friends?

Did they fix their mistakes,

Or are they in Jail?

Is he out of there,

Or is he still smoking?

Is she still fighting,

Or did she get hurt?

I just hope they’re all alive…

But I will never see

Them,

Her

Him,

Or any of the others

Again.

And I still can’t decide

If that’s good or bad.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Present

I made it out of there,

But I am hurt.

I have lost everything I had.

My identity,

My friends,

My safeplace,

My prized possessions,

All vanished with the wind.

I am trying to rebuild,

But I cannot remember,

What I was before,

And pieces are still scattered

In my past.

Where are the aspects that

Made me who I am?

What are the aspects that

Made me whole?

That made up

My identity?

Who was I then?

Who am I now?

What should I do?

How do I function

Without the fundamental,

Pieces of my soul?

How do I live 

In your embrace

When the Past,

Still has me captive?

How will I ever escape?

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Future,

You are terrifying,

And amazing 

All at the same time.

Your mere existence,

Means situations can become better,

Or they can become much worse,

You are the reason I,

Hope,

Pray,

Love, 

And Care,

Because you are a reason to live

If you are kind and positive,

You are also the reason I,

Panic,

Cry,

Hurt,

And fear.

Because you are a reason to die.

If you are awful and bleak.

The present and the past,

Have taught me to survive,

But I need to be more.

I need to be alive.

I want to be better,

I want to more than survive.

I want to live.

Please help me live.

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Past,

I’m done with you.

Sincerely,

Me