I loved you for the first time when you turned my plans upside down and created your own.

“Know the risks, fight them, go through the fire and get up. I will show you the beauty of letting yourself know that there is a way back up”

I loved you for the first time when you showed me how beautifully messy life can be.

When I thought every single memory had been scrubbed off the tiles, when the mirrors were no longer covered and the walls were painted white, you came along with the brightest shade to ever exist, right there in your eyes, and painted the whole world. My world. You put flowers on the mirrors and filled every cup to the brim with memories from the sleepless nights, drunk laughs and forbidden glimpses so that we would never get rid of it all.

When I put the vinyls away to protect them from  the cruelty of time, you bought an old record player for each one of them and whispered: may our ears drink from these, even if they break. I would gladly pick up every piece and create a whole new soundtrack for our own story, my dear.

When I thought my heart was safe and my spirit was allowed to rest, you took me by the hand and swirled me around the edge of a cliff. A cliff made of soft leather and sweet poison, where the gentle wind made the fear seem meaningless.

When I realised everything was bound to break, I loved you. I took you in my arms and knew I had found the tape that would put me back together if I broke my wings trying to fly. You did not need to say a word.

When I loved you, I knew many parts of me would crumble in the best way possible. I knew you would sit beside me and build a breathtaking mosaic of memories and pieces from who I once was and would show me how we could turn it all into art.

When I looked at you, I saw a flaw in your plan. I realised how you prepared me for every risk but not for the only one that would absolutely take my breath away and bring me to my knees. The one that would make me lose all the words to ever be written and feel completely shaken up.

When I saw myself falling for you, I assured the angels that no safety net would be needed. That was the only risk I was willing to take delightfully unaware of the consequences. I guess that was my plan all along.

When I fell for you, I thanked all the galaxies for your failed plan.