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A Letter To My Brother James
It’s the oldest siblings’ job
To protect the child younger
Mason is the oldest
I come in second
You were third, James
And Brystol fourth
You were my first responsibility
Mom put you in my arms
And told me so herself
It was my new job
To protect you
And guide you as you grew
I remember the first time
You said my name
I remember the first time
You fell when you walked
I remember the first time
You smiled at me
I remember the first time
You watched How to Train Your Dragon
My baby brother
So young
So vibrant
I never knew
How sick you were
I never knew why you were special
You were just my brother
No disorder
Nothing wrong
Just two eyes
One blue one brown
Framed by blue glasses
Smudged with brownies
But now I watch old memories
Play before my eyes
You’d think I’d feel better
Knowing I won’t forget you
Knowing I won’t forget your smile
I won’t forget your laugh
Or the way you did your hair
How you said my name
I won’t forget you playing
I will never forget your face smudged with chocolate
I will never forget you dancing
Loving life every second
I miss you to this day
Your smile
Your laugh
You made the town cry
All of us did
Wishing you’d open your eyes
But you didn’t stop them
From closing the casket
You didn’t stop them
Lowering you
And you didn’t stop me
From loving you
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I was once told in therapy to write a letter to my little brother. I decided to go back to that prompt and write this. I am often reminded of him and the stupid things we used to do.