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Hugs from the ICU (After Ocean Vuong's "Kissing in Vietnamese")
My brother hugs
as if he can still hear his oxygen monitor
constantly beeping in the room
where it smells faintly of rubbing alcohol
and baby shampoo
back in the fluorescent-lit hospital
where the lights are never off
as if he would be whisked away to be placed
into another clanging machine
where the stinging pains pang constantly from blood
draws and failed IV lines
on the tiny immobile arms of a helpless baby
as if to turn and leave for another room, your lungs
would deflate like balloons.
When my brother hugs, there would be
no cuddly bear hugs, no celebratory confetti
of clawed fingers, he hugs as if to climb back
inside the womb, burrowing his head into your chest
so that your body can envelop him
and your warmth will dissolve into a syrup of condensed
milk inside his throat, as if while he embraces you
a stranger is coming to take you both.
My brother hugs as if he never left
as if somewhere,
there is a trap made of plastic
waiting for him.
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After reading Vuong's "Kissing in Vietnamese," I was inspired to make my own poem about my brother and his experience in an Intensive Care Unit after his premature birth. My goal with this poem is to bring awareness to the the importance of trauma-informed care, even in young children.