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Sleepless contemplations
Its 2 am in the night
An undetermined instinct keeps me up
I find myself stuck in a whirl of conceptions
Trying to contemplate others’ perceptions
My mind turns into a battlefield
Intrusive questions get unveiled
Who am I?
Am I good enough?
Am I going the right way?
Or just going to live a huff n puff life
And letting guilt endure until I fade away
I stare into the mirror
Until the bitterness draws nearer
And the tremendous dread of sinking
Without ever sailing paralyses me
Profound darkness sets in steadily
My future seems to fade
Everyone’s expectations cry out loudly
I start dreading my future but hold onto myself tightly
Listening to music while I tear apart
And struggling not to let opinions pierce my heart
I try to fight my way out of the gloomy web of thoughts
Until I feel safe and proud of being who I am and doze off
Not all times are happy and joyful, as happy a person seems from outside that person can be that hurt deep inside