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I Hate that Deer
The thing I love most is the stagnancy of the wind
The thing I love most is the strength of a tree
The thing I love most is the still of a pond
The thing I love most is the leaf that never falls
The thing I love most is the strong structure of a house
The thing I love most is the rain that never stops
The thing I love most is a bird that never cease singing
The thing that I hate most is when I notice the deer with the long antlers and multi-colored coat that Wasn’t there before. I hate that deer because it makes me honest whereas before I was a liar.
To tell the truth I hate when the pond is still or when the bird never stops singing. I love the rain and the Leaves but not when they are forever. Because I will soon grow tired and beg for change
I love the house that masters the wind but detest the idea of staying in one place for too long.
I would love to see the pond and its music as it travels, and I’d love to see a log
That is perfect to sit on. So yes, I have lied but one day it may turn to truth, one day I might truly love the never ending rain but maybe not.
I am as still as the clouds but I have places to be, if I stay in one place, above the still pond and strong house, I will never make it to my destination.
So as much as I love the scenery, or more so the impression of paradise, I know I must follow the deer to wherever it may lead.
The thing I hate most is a wind that never screams
The thing I hate most is a tree with all its bark
The thing I hate most is a pond that doesn’t flow
The thing I hate most is a tree that's always green
The thing I hate most is a house that never falls
The thing I hate most is when the sun is always hidden
The thing I hate most is a bird who never sleeps
The thing I hate most is a mind that never changes
My mother, when she disagrees with my thinking or behavior, says that I might change my mind in the future. I feel beyond belittled when she says this, and not because I disagree with it but
Because I already know this to be true. Because I don’t care. Maybe because I do care. I want my mind to change, to grow, to evolve. I want my mind to wither and then awake again. To be reborn.
I am a collection of experiences. The past, present and future. I am everything. But I can not be everything if I am not also nothing. I can not be me if I do not forget who I am.
Change is important, it is essential to life. Vulnerability brings about change and I argue that vulnerability is the most important experience that one can have.
But vulnerability cannot exist in the future and it cannot exist in the past. The process of being vulnerable is an experience that can only be had in the present; therefore, that is where I choose to live.
I am a mind that always changes and I am the present. I know that who I am will change and such a truth I embrace but I cannot wait for change to happen, I can not live a life of “what ifs”.
I cannot wait for the wind to still
I cannot wait for the trees to fall
I cannot wait for the pond to dry
I cannot wait for the leaves to fall
I cannot wait for the house to crumble
I cannot wait for the rain to depart
I cannot wait for the birds to pass
The thing I hate most is a mind that never changes.
But I also hate a mind that cannot still.
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