Today, I lost my America

Or was it yesterday?

Those bright red stripes and the blank white stars

The fireworks and apple pie

I lost America when America told me not to be like “them.”

As the crosses bear a red glare and the bodies hang in the air

The America that told me how great I was 

Today I lost my America

Or was it 22 years ago?

When we so quickly went from “exotic” to “dangerous.”

I lost the America that told them how “disgusting” they were. 

The America that told them to get on the ground

The Americans that put their blue knee on his neck

I lost America in my mother's tears

When I heard my father's fears

When I saw the weight of history pressing upon his neck. 

Or was America always lost?

In the bloodstains on the concrete

In our trees that are supposed to bear the fruit of progress 

But bear the bodies of so many

Did I ever have America?

Or was it always lost? 

In my racing thoughts, hopes, and fantasies.