The squeak of your shoes gave you away
Your black boots are different, your old sneakers never squeaked
They were too gentle
You walk differently now
Squeak Squeak Squeak
Heavier and with less bounce and more purpose
Squeak Squeak Squeak
More like a man who’s no longer a boy
But I pretended I don't hear
Because it’s easier if you don’t notice things
I hold my breath as you get closer
You don't find yourself you create yourself
You once you told me
Is that why you left?
Your right behind me now
I can feel your warmth but my body is still covered in
Goosebumps
You’re unsure what to do
That's ok I am too
After some hesitation you sit next to me
“I missed you”
I know you're a hero in the eyes of our nation but I feel like you stabbed me in the back
And I missed you is not a sufficient Band-Aid
Now that you’re next to me I see, from the corner of my eye
You’re still in uniform
I think of all the stories you shared at lunch
We were all so relieved to have you back and
For the first time since you left
Happy
But then you told us you weren’t here to stay
Our smile froze on our face slowly fading as what you said
Sank in
“Yeah we missed you too”
My words are shaky and I realize I’m about to cry
I’m about to lose you again and
Maybe
For good
Tears are rolling down my cheek now at a rate to flood this gym
You pull me into you
Your stomachs hard now and
Your hands are rough
But your body is still familiar
I hold you and sob silently
And imagine us frozen like this
Forever