I feel weak, unhappy
Completely alone
I feel tired, exhausted
All on my own

I can’t lift my arms
My hands cannot hold
My head is too heavy
My heart is too cold

Tears have dried up
I walk like a ghost
Eyes blurring blindly
I hate this the most

The eyes, which were blue
Oh, are now gray
They are much dimmer
Since I lost my way

I wonder deep inside
If the ugly truth is found
Will the people look at me?
Treat me like a hound?

Hoping, wishing, begging
Pleading for a second chance
It’s not fair to shut me out
To deny me of romance

My mind pounds, aches
Wishes to be set free
Be in the head of anyone
Anyone but me

Oh pity, why feel sorry?
I’ve made my ugly choice
Pathetic as it may be
It silences the noise

Bubbling, smoking up inside
Bursting out at last
The future running at me
The present streaming past


The fingers rush toward my face
Sharp nails ripping skin
The ugly truth is buried deep
To hide all of my sins

Bitter, bitter, oh so bitter
Sweet kisses and cream
By my bedside when I sob
By my bedside as I scream

Loud, clear shouts of anger
Like glass breaking in snow
Wish you’d stay with me
Until my sanity goes

Life is angry, oh so angry
Does not listen to my pleas
Old hands clutch at my lungs
Then begin to squeeze

Laugh, deep laugh of fear
Fearfully kissing rough hands
Unconsciously traveling far
Visiting distant lands

Smile for the crowd, my love
Must trick them not to see
If they see the ugly truth
Our lives will never be

Mother, mother, may I ask?
How has it all gone wrong?
My mind, it’s gone away again!
Will it be back before long?

Smile, dear, don’t let them notice
The ugly truth will frighten
Do not make a lot of noise
Especially not to spite them

They are more important
Their minds ought to be protected
I dip my finger inside my head
To find it is deflected


Shocked, I wake up in old hands
Shaking my weakening frame
Kissing my forehead, sobbing
Taking all the blame

“Wake for me, my darling!”
Shouting for mercy, “please!”
I groan and choose to go away
So to make my mind at peace

Blank pages rumble forward
My energy dips too low
Please lay with me a while longer
Before I have to go

Angel kisses, dirty wishes
The ugly truth is shown
White covers thrown all over us
To hide the last few moans