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Callous Freak
A half-carton of ice cream? Really?
Well, you just killed the pancreas there buddy.
I’d like you to know that all of us aren’t nearly
As stuffed and bloated as you are.
This was meant to be a family social event,
But I suppose we can make this all about you.
I’m so sorry to hear your moving back to Ohio
Well, not really, since everyone wants you gone.
You’re makeup looks terrible by the way,
Like teardrops speeding past your eyeliner
Racing down the sides of your cheek.
I bet he saved the ring for the other woman.
So, while your filth ruins my brand new sofa
You can share all your pathetic sob stories
And I can try my best to pretend I care.
Please don’t bother asking how I’ve been
Or pretend to act interested in me at all.
Remember, its not about me, its all about you.
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This article has 36 comments.
This poem is funny but cynical and melancholic at the same time. I actually kinda-of like it, reminds me of the work in the The New Yorker magazine. Your poem would fit perfectly in there. :) You read it? I just like the cartoons, but my mom has a subscription.
Why do you refer to people as captain and always say merci? Just wondering... :)
Oh no, Boosflash, you don't have to do that. Remember, it's not about me, it's all about you.
Changing my mind and weeping bitterly: "I need that poem!"
Are you an observer of your debts? If so, I'd be delighted.