I’m forcing myself to write about you
Because writing usually helps
This feeling is new and complex to me
Something hard to describe; something I’ve never felt

My heart feels broken
My mind is confused
My heart feels a cloud of bitterness setting in
Please help me before it’s too late
My mind is ashamed
Slowly filling with regret
I feel stupid for letting you in so far
I don’t feel any better as of yet

I hear voices in my head
Telling me you’ll come back
But I’m not sure if I believe them
I’m scared to be let down I don’t know how I would react

I’m questioning everything between us now
I wonder if you really loved me
All the things you said
How real could it be?
But I’m conflicted inside
I partly want to believe you were once sincere
But nothing in my life makes sense anymore
Nothing has been made clear

I keep being reminded of things
All the things we did and said
But the thought of our former love hurts now
I feel repeatedly stabbed in the heart; I’ve bled

I see foreshadowing of our love’s end now
But then, I refused to believe it
The doubts in my mind
I pushed away
And the opinions and warnings from people
I wouldn’t receive it

Our friendship will be complicated I’m sure
Atleast for me it will
It sometimes hurts to talk to you
But I’m sad and lonely without you still
I promised to stay in your life
Even if it means I won’t be your wife
But I will keep my word
Because well, making promises you can’t keep is absurd

I had put all my faith in our love
Which I’m not sure if I regret
But I ultimately think you were the one with doubt…
And that’s what makes me the most upset