The Perfect Doll | Teen Ink

The Perfect Doll

July 20, 2011
By xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???


Just sew my lips together
With sloppy stitch
All my words are knives to you
Just replace my eyes with buttons
Black and lifeless
All they see is your pain
Just replace my heart with stuffing
Lumpy and full hate
All it does is hurt you with its wants
Sew me up, make me a doll
Make me perfect, unmoving
Make me your doll To be on your shelf
Where I can watch and love you
Without causing you hurt
Do this for me
Do this for you
Make me a doll
Make me perfect



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This article has 20 comments.


on Mar. 16 2012 at 9:36 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Interesting; sad, but very beautiful. There were a few mistakes, but I won't point them out because somebody probably already has. 

it has an (sorry to be redundant) interesting sentiment; like a sort of nettling, self-effaceing, wry irony. 


on Oct. 24 2011 at 8:26 pm
Erecura PLATINUM, Eugene, Oregon
26 articles 11 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hell is empty; all the devils are here."
The tempest

Amazing! Creepy...

on Sep. 8 2011 at 11:14 am
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???

Aw shucks thanks *^-^*

on Sep. 7 2011 at 5:33 pm
Studio_Riet GOLD, Tonasket, Washington
16 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Times you see, is a little arrangement that man has made for himself to try to measure the immeasurable mysteries of life." -Calypso to Ulysses (Bernard Evslin.)
"You don't have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body" - CS Lewis

Oooh!! Creepy in an awesome way!!! Reminds me a ton of the opening scean in Coraline. >o<   LOVE IT, FOX!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!!!!

on Aug. 21 2011 at 2:37 pm
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???

Sorry...          

Eirias SILVER said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 11:27 am
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus

You know, it really seems like the stuff everyone is asking me to read it the same format: no punctuation. I can't really give solid suggestions to "words floating on the ether" (that's a phrase I've coined talking about puntuation-less poetry. It seems like that is the kind everyone is most worried about).

 

It's good, just note that you capitalized "To." I feel bad that I don't have much to say, so I think I'll try to find your other one on the forum.


Emily.L GOLD said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 12:08 pm
Emily.L GOLD, Gilbert, Arizona
10 articles 12 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us. Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something. " -Sarah Dessen

Nice, creative, and uses a great metaphor. Really liked it :)

on Jul. 31 2011 at 12:57 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

Very well written! I think that I read this in the forums? You probably posted it there. Anyway, I remember reading it before. Good job!

Squeaks BRONZE said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 1:09 pm
Squeaks BRONZE, Glen Allen, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some people just don't know when to quit." --from the back of my XC team's 200 summer mile club T-shirt

Fox, this is excellent, you've got a good taste for metaphors, there. This poem is fantastic, though melancholy. It makes you wonder who the doll is, and why they're so worried about the other person. You should consider sharing some of your other work, I'd love to read it!

on Jul. 27 2011 at 5:08 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

Why is this not on the mag, hmmm???? I really like this and the metaphors are great!!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 7:49 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

I love this poem. It's wonderful. I sincerely hope that it makes it into the magazine!!!

on Jul. 25 2011 at 9:23 pm
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???

THank you all! ^^ I don't normally show my work!!! ^^ Thank you!

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jul. 25 2011 at 5:19 pm
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 340 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

It's really cool how you alternate between the good side and the bad side of being a doll. Interesting. 5/5.

on Jul. 25 2011 at 2:16 pm
ClassicS BRONZE, Corona, New Mexico
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Good point, it would kind of be boring.

on Jul. 25 2011 at 2:03 pm
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???

^^ If the world was perfect there wouldn't be a need for writers, singers, lovers, or passion. ^^

on Jul. 25 2011 at 12:25 pm
ClassicS BRONZE, Corona, New Mexico
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Ya, i wish evryony could see things that way, it would be amazing.  :)

on Jul. 25 2011 at 11:45 am
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???

Perception is not but an illusion. Those who can't see past it are wothless, those who can are worth their wieght in gold. =)

on Jul. 25 2011 at 10:59 am
ClassicS BRONZE, Corona, New Mexico
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Ya, but its kinda who I was. I'm working on it. But seems evryone sees me as a doll.

on Jul. 23 2011 at 4:02 pm
xXx_Fox_xXx BRONZE, Conbe, Iowa
4 articles 1 photo 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where a rose is, a thistle can not grow" ~The Secret Garden
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Ghandi
"Every road leads somewhere, its just a matter of where you want to go..." ~???

^^ Thank you!! You feel like this? I'm a little sad to hear that, no one should be treated as a doll.

on Jul. 22 2011 at 10:30 am
ClassicS BRONZE, Corona, New Mexico
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
i love you poem, i feel like that a lot.