not gone | TeenInk

not gone

August 17, 2011
By snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

blue embroidered above

with words – letters –
she
sweet
reread

her head
down
not tears
but –
shame – disgrace –

the (been one) not-Mommy

not torn –
broken.


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This article has 3 comments.


freakystyley said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:25 pm
woah thats a really cool idea i like it! and i'm glad that it worked out so well...so cool!

on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:22 pm
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Thanks!  It actually started by me picking every fifth word out of an essay I was reading and then I tried to make a poem out of it.

If you could still pick up on the emotion without a fuller story, I really appreciate that, because I was wondering if it was clear :)


on Aug. 20 2011 at 8:17 pm
freakystyley BRONZE, Kinnelon, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments
i really like how this is written, and i come away with emotion and vibes rather than a story, plot or explanation. I'm not sure if this is what you wanted to get accross or not, but i really like it!