Instructions for the Substitute Me | Teen Ink

Instructions for the Substitute Me MAG

April 25, 2008
By Anonymous

You can do your Creative Writing during History,
your vocabulary during Creative Writing,
your Chemistry during English, and
your Algebra 2 as soon as you get it
(ignore the lesson and do the work).

Oh yeah, and don’t forget you promised
to write that next chapter for that friend
and proofread three pages for another,
edit and finalize this stack of papers for the one in North Carolina,
while doing that sketch for the one next door.

Even though you aren’t to use e-mail at school,
expect to come home to a full inbox,
as well as the private messages on three forums
and the TXTs on your poor, poor cell phone.

Wrap up today’s conversations using a variety of
phone calls on either the home phone or your cell
and those four instant messenger accounts you signed up for.

A few of the people you need to talk to are
a very freaked-out friend,
that person who was sick today,
your BFF who switched schools,
and probably one or two others as well.

To keep things quiet on the home front, make sure to
empty the dishwasher,
take out the trash,
move around the laundry,
clean your room,
and spend at least half an hour watching TV
(a.k.a. Family Time).

Oh, and when you get the chance,
update your website,
read a book or two,
do some free writing,
and, most important of all,
do your History homework,
after all,
you can’t do that in class.

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This article has 42 comments.

InkWriter13 said...
on Jun. 23 2012 at 1:27 pm
This is an awesome poem! Quirky, witty, and relatable. I love how you tied the history back to the history at the beginning. A perfect ending. Great poem. Would you please comment on my poem titled Wizard of Words? I would love your perspective on it. :)

on Jan. 27 2012 at 3:26 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

Or maybe it doesn't really have to be something so serious and it's actually just meant to be funny...

on Jul. 13 2011 at 12:46 pm
misswindsor BRONZE, Collingdale, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What Fresh Hell is this?"

Sounds like my life! This poem is funny and whimsical! I really enjoyed it!

on Jun. 13 2011 at 5:24 pm
freeflow23 GOLD, Durham, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
Saul saw Goliath as too big to kill. David saw he was too big to miss.

yea either that or you're complaining about how "bad" your life is

on Feb. 4 2011 at 12:23 pm
msoccerm345 SILVER, Grimes, Iowa
7 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

okayy so what i got from this poem was that your really depressed and you basically want to give up and have someone else take your place because you have so much stress in your life

on Dec. 8 2010 at 12:54 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck

In three words i can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost

Live, Love, Laugh - ______

Hope, Love, breathe <3 - Me

i really liked  this poem!! i love the way i can relate it so much to friends in my life!! great job!!

Duckie430 said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 8:52 am
Duckie430, Riverside, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 228 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The secret to life is being who you are and being happy with who you are.”
"Whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger."

i like this poem alot

LunaLives GOLD said...
on Nov. 21 2010 at 2:05 pm
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me "Life is a choice and death is a decision"-Lil Wayne

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...........i love it!

on Aug. 29 2010 at 12:57 pm
Eatfoodzap SILVER, Winchester, Massachusetts
5 articles 2 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. But if you can overcome the sacrifice and make it your own, you will gain an irreplaceable Fullmetal heart."- Edward Elric

This is a really cute little poem. I like how you blatantly outline all of the shortcuts and such of teenage life. Awesome! :D

on Aug. 26 2010 at 4:12 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 193 comments
That was pretty funny! The meter could use some work, but I think that the "rules" of poetry are less important when the poem is written in a humorous tone. Great job!  

on Aug. 23 2010 at 7:06 pm
collegegirladventures GOLD, Mequon, Wisconsin
10 articles 8 photos 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.

~Salman Rushdie

this is it. good job.

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 5:50 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 606 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

I usually don't like poems.... BUT YOUR'S ROCKS SOCKS!!!! I loved it!  Keep writing! ~AsIAm

on Aug. 9 2010 at 8:32 pm
Marlyre PLATINUM, Kalamazoo, Michigan
21 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
"when you cry, do you waste your tears?" Madonna

what spurred this poem? afterall, you dont have any time ;) read some of mine?

the truth said...
on Aug. 9 2010 at 8:29 am
DUDE- that was an awesome poem! i've been flipping through all of these really bad cliche sappy poems and finally I found one that was great. don't stop writing.

Mmbusch BRONZE said...
on Aug. 3 2010 at 9:18 am
Mmbusch BRONZE, Fox River Grove, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not pity the dead. Pity the living. And above all pity those who live without love."

Very much liked it. Great job & quite an original idea!

love2run GOLD said...
on Jun. 13 2010 at 7:16 pm
love2run GOLD, Star Valley, Wyoming
12 articles 4 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I failed my way to success." Thomas Edison
"What kind of crazy nut would spend two or three hours a day just running?" Pre
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." John Shedd

This is so great! i can totally relate to this, but sometimes it is frustrating, eh?


on May. 16 2010 at 9:00 pm
hannahbee7 DIAMOND, Boca Raton, Florida
67 articles 1 photo 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You know you’re a writer if your friend tells you a heartbreaking story and your first reaction is – wow, that would make an incredible plot for a novel. You know you’re a smart writer if you manage to keep that reaction to yourself."

Wow you could be me! This sounds just like  me! I do all my homework in class. My friends don't really think I'm that great a writer but I'm working on it. And my friends call me all the time freaked out and it's maddening. Good luck, because of course we all really need it:] 

on Mar. 30 2010 at 11:21 am
Starrlyt PLATINUM, Willard, North Carolina
20 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars -Les Brown

I really like how you wrote this.  It is so relatable to teens everywhere.  Adults think we don't have responsibilities but we do; more than they could possibly imagine.  I found myself nodding in agreement to almost every line.  Been there, done that. lol. Doin it today, and i'll probably be doin that tomorrow. lol.

RinaAnne GOLD said...
on Mar. 25 2010 at 11:57 am
RinaAnne GOLD, San Ramon, California
15 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
the only easy day was yesterday.

write about what you know, your experiences, and how you look at the world. Personal poetry is more powerful than technical and correct poetry.

on Mar. 21 2010 at 5:56 pm
Helloitslexi BRONZE, Medford Lakes, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Those who dream most do most <3

Awesome! I loved the format you used... Any tips for aspiring poets?