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Expectation silent
i should be used to it
 by now, each
 repetition makes me
 close my eyes
 and wish to shut it out
 rejection and
 heartbreak i can take
 for however long
 but that split second that
 comes between
 wild, uncontrollable flare
 of hope and yet
 another slow, patient
 reminder that life
 is real, and never guided
 by anyone's heart
 least of all mine

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