Dew forms on the tip of a leaf
Beneath a glistening ray of sunshine
Striking down through the cold winter air
On this crisp January morning
And I think of you
My innocent heart
Once young and timid
To the touch of but one lover
My lips
Soft and plump
Once dry to the taste of another
My feet
Crossing only familiar grounds
My hands
Fitting only in the pockets of my own jacket
But you have changed me
My soul
Once watered by my incessant need
For the sun and moon
Books and rhythms
Now fed unwillingly by your troubled love
My heart
Once beating to the sound of my own laughter
Vulnerable only to that of a family’s trust
Or a darling crush
On a Tuesday afternoon
Now weak
Yet strong with the desire for you
Forever
Your gentle touch
I love too much
Your confusing ways
Drive me insane
The peace sign, hanging from your neck
Your passion for music
Your broad, strong frame
There’s only you to blame
For all this nonsense
But still, my heart remains the same
Your desire to live off the land
The feeling of your hair
In my hands
All the things that make me love you
The crazy, naïve way that I do
Hopelessly, helplessly, now shamefully
You’ve made me guilty
No longer innocent to love
Or, at least what I thought was love
Simple, kind, easy
But, in fact
Fiery, passionate, painful, desperate
I am a new person now
Influenced by your crazy, manipulating mind
Though I may be just another girl
You, my love, are anything but
I have come to feel something like love for you
In five short months
I have come to despise loving you
Through all the tears that have fallen from my eyes
Like dew glistening in the morning sunlight
On that same January morning
From the eyes you once told me were angelic
Though untrusting
And mazelike
Let me pull you in once more
As you have done to me
Continuously
Lose yourself in my maze
As I have lost myself in yours
You have awakened my soul
To the essence of love
Simultaneously damaging it
Forever a scar will be placed upon my heart
Bearing your name
Forever you will be the first to touch my lips
Though you do not know this
Forever, your name will be seared into the pages
Of my journals
Sealed into the confines of my memory
I do not love you
But I always will
Forever