We agreed
on an autumn day
that we would be
best friends
forever.
Yes indeed I am
aware
We were 7.
I stayed at your little house
In Fearrington
playing video games
side by side.
For years
I sat next to you
in boy's clothes from Target
because none of my friends
were girls
I didn't see anything wrong.
I wore my hair short
and you wore yours long.
We were best friends.
Just like when we
first agreed.
Do you remember
Mary and Bob Clink
running down the street?
Playing mystery kids,
Visiting the goats
Mattress surfing
on that old mattress
until one of us
got hurt.
And we'd stop
and make sure
everything was okay
but now
today
everything is not okay
We've grown apart
since 4th grade
I became the girl
I prayed to never be.
The day you moved
away from me
I realized
Hey,
I'm a girl!
And I threw away
my video games
my boy's clothes
my carelessness.
I noticed how
I wasn't like
all the other girls
how I was odd
abnormal
that girl who plays
on the boys side
during the playground war
of boys verses girls.
And now I sit here
in my brand name clothes
with my bright pink cell phone
mascara
eyeliner
lipstick
everything I hoped to never be
is what I see
in the mirror
in front of me.