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The Siren’s Song MAG

October 30, 2012
By 3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
More by this author
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

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The moon glistened on the sandy shore
midnight blue was the sky
waves washed to the banks
rushing out as I walked by

shells shimmered in the moonlight
the night lonely
but warm
my feet wandered the shores
the waves rose
like a billowing cape
only to slide back from the sand
broken and torn

the world fell silent
the wind grew still
a cry
a song
uttered out of the dark
through the shrill night air
I turned, looked but found
no one there

suddenly I felt a presence
somewhere near
I followed the shore
till it came to an end
out on the waves
not far from where I was then

a creature
I hadn't seen before
with a tail of silver
that glowed in the moonlight
with the face of a women
and hair like the snow
a song on her lips
she swayed to and fro

I gasped,
I gawked, standing there
under the radiant moon

A light
A snap
breaking the darkness
shattering her song
into the waters' depths
she was gone

But sometimes when
the moon glistens on the sandy shore
when the sky is midnight
when the waves rise
like a billowing cape
when the world is silent
and the wind is still
the siren sings her song
swaying to and fro
Her song will forever remain
unknown.

© Daniel H., Oak Bluffs, MA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 23 comments.

EPluribusUnum DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 10:15 pm
EPluribusUnum DIAMOND, Woodbine, Maryland
59 articles 24 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head)."
-Sylvia Plath

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I loved how you wove bits of rhyme in and out of this, you had me hanging on listening for more bits of music in this poem. It was woven as beautifully as the song of the siren herself, and I loved the story of it. This is beautiful! :D
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 14 2013 at 12:27 am
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

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Thanks Yeah that was my goal.
Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 6:57 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

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I love the Picture this peice was able to create in my mind. I felt like I was there with you. really good! :)
ZhaNae BRONZE said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 3:35 pm
ZhaNae BRONZE, Duncanville, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Hurt people, hurt people.

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WOW! That was so awesome!!! I love the image you put in my head. Great Work
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 1:48 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Yeah I know some of the stanzas ryhme. It's supposed to be free verse yes. I just liked using the words that I did the fact that they ended up ryhming is 100% conencedential.
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 1:46 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Thank you:) Yeah I'm extremly exited about getting it published in the magazine!
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 1:01 pm
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
29 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well."
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

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Awesome! You give the reader very clear visuals and the poem has a beautiful overall flow! I especially like stanzas 3 and 8, their mystical eerieness appeals to me. :) I am just confused about one thing: some stanzas rhyme, but this is supposed to be a free verse poem.
Prisoner24601 SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 9:45 am
Prisoner24601 SILVER, New Malden, Other
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honourable man." ~William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

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I love all the imagery you've used in the poem. It creates a very vivid picture of the setting and gives the poem a professional feel. It is an altogether beautiful poem, and congratulations on getting it in the magazine :)
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 12 2013 at 6:08 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Thank you :) Yeah I think it's one of the best poems I've ever written.
GuardianoftheStars GOLD said...
on Jan. 12 2013 at 12:35 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

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That was beautiful.  I could easily imagin the magic in the moment. :)
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2013 at 1:11 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Yes I've heard about that myth. Thats a great idea to base your poems on it! Yeah I'll look at your poems once they are approved. I really like writing about the ocean and sirens and stuff too. :)
Taty9 SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2013 at 11:48 am
Taty9 SILVER, Las Vegas, Nevada
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments
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  I love the imagery in this poem, in fact I've favorited it. I also write poems about water, the sea, and sirens. Are you familiar with the jolly sailor bold myth? I include that in my poems. They're currently waiting to be approved, but once they are I think you'll enjoy them.  
Taty9 SILVER said...
on Jan. 11 2013 at 11:46 am
Taty9 SILVER, Las Vegas, Nevada
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments
View profile
I love the imagery in this poem, in fact I've favorited it. I also write poems about water, the sea, and sirens. Are you familiar with the jolly sailor bold myth? I include that in my poems. They're currently waiting to be approved, but once they are I think you'll enjoy them.
Sparkle1pops PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 10 2013 at 6:46 pm
Sparkle1pops PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
31 articles 20 photos 342 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist."
- Oscar Wilde

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Great poem! There is however one thing I would change. In the you restated some of the previous features of the night but not all of them. Either restate them all or dont repeat any, at least that's what I think. 
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 10 2013 at 2:37 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Yes, thats a good point. No I think I was more like six but I've always loved writing. But your right it dosn't really matter how old you are or when you started. It really dosn't affect weither or not you are a good writer or not. 
Lily said...
on Jan. 10 2013 at 2:34 pm
This is a great poem!!! <3
Rolledthestone SILVER said...
on Jan. 10 2013 at 1:54 pm
Rolledthestone SILVER, Nowhere, Other
8 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:5) and "All the poeple who supported slavery were free, all the people who support abortion live..."

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You could write when you were four? Nah, I started writing poems in grade four. Frankly, i think you can be just as good of a poet if you start later.
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 10 2013 at 12:51 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Thanks yeah. I was originally going to use more adjectives but I took a bunch of them out cause I thought it was too much. Maybe I should have kept them.
Rolledthestone SILVER said...
on Jan. 10 2013 at 11:23 am
Rolledthestone SILVER, Nowhere, Other
8 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:5) and "All the poeple who supported slavery were free, all the people who support abortion live..."

View profile
It was good. Very decriptive but maybe you need a bit more adjectives. Don't limit yourself to one adjective per noun, explore, describe without boundaries. The crisp, brisk, cool and cold wind licked at my hair. Something like that. Awesome poem anyway!  
3dancer SILVER said...
on Jan. 9 2013 at 2:56 pm
3dancer SILVER, Windsor, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that we never were. But without it we go nowhere!"

View profile
Thanks yeah I see what you mean about making it flow more. Thanks, and yeah I've been writing poems since I was like 3 to and I'm 16 now.