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Confessions of an Insomniac
Worry engulfs her mind,
consuming every ounce of her being.
Such a ruthless, shameless monster,
hungry and ready to attack at the right moment.
Acute pain rushes to her chest,
allowing the internal pain to resurface.
The premature wrinkles
and permanent tension she holds in her mouth,
are only a few of the symptoms.
Even breathing is a chore.
In, out.
In, out.
She tries reassures herself,
But even this she can’t do.
Unsure and uncertain.
Of the present.
Of the future.
Overwhelmed by doubt,
by fear,
and by her own mind.
Overwhelmed by the subconscious thoughts that dwell in her mind,
and come to haunt her at night.
She knows.
She knows she is trapped in her own body.
In her own mind.
In her own life.
She knows there is no escape.
She knows there is no running away.
Anxiety and panic rule her,
Conquer and triumph over all.
There is so much to worry about,
yet there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Everything will be ok,
but will it?
Will it really?
She doesn’t know.
She doesn’t know!
Tired and awake,
completely exhausted,
with her eyes wide open.
Trying so desperately to close them,
but unable to.
Her stubborn eyelids
rebel against their master.
Unwilling to obey her weary body.
Morning comes much too soon
and though the pain has subsided momentarily,
Night will arrive eventually, and
the dreaded cycle will commence again.
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