My Lonely | Teen Ink

My Lonely

May 23, 2013
By PhoebeB GOLD, Lexington, Massachusetts
PhoebeB GOLD, Lexington, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."
-Victor Hugo


A soul that walks an abandoned path-
she told me she was coming this way.
I saw her just last week: the only traveler
on a busy road, where cars have turned
to memories, and memories to regrets. I
can remember her asking "Why don't you join me?"
I can remember my response- swift but polite.
I would miss my own loneliness.
She argued, "But lonely is lonely, and my road is lonely too."
And I told her- "Lonely is not in a number of people,
it is in a number of hearts." And then, she
understood. I was a soul who walked an abandoned
path too. But, my path was one of many people and cars, and sounds.
She would end the only lonely I have ever known: so I said goodbye to her
and her path, where cars have turned to memories and
memories to regrets.
And I kept on wandering, but with
a little less lonely still
in my heart.


The author's comments:
Hope you enjoy... Was very fun to write!!!

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This article has 3 comments.


on May. 27 2013 at 6:07 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Nice poem! Great job!

ephemeral GOLD said...
on May. 27 2013 at 1:22 am
ephemeral GOLD, Park City, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All that is gold does not glitter/Not all those who wander are lost/The old that is strong does not wither/Deep roots are not reached by the frost"

Your talent I think is in free verse. I love this poem, and  it's among my favorites that I have reviewed on here. I like what I take to be a metaphor of cars as memories on this road of yours, as well as the wrenching fact that the narrator declines companionship because they're so used to being lonely that it's the only thing they know; It's almost heartbreaking that the speaker doesn't even want to share their loneliness. It's ending inspires hope, but that's not the only reason why this poem is a craft. I noted that there seems to be no emotion in the poem until the end, just descriptions of events in a simple tone to get readers to infer on the emotions and the numb loneliness. It's a wonderful poem--5 stars

on May. 26 2013 at 10:26 am
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

This is very good! I enjoyed it alot. It is rather clever, speaking of Loneliness as a friend, or a compainon. I suppose it is a very good way to sleak of it. After all, Lonely is the only one with us when we feel alone. I liked your title, the pjrase My Lonely so closely resembles the phrase "my lovely" that when you move on into the rest of the pome, you cant help but read it with a certain air of tenderness, or gentle affection. It really served you well! I especially like how youhad Lonely argue for her own loneliness, explaining why she must go, it gave it a philosophical feel. This reminds me of the poem An Old Comrade by Emma Wheeler Wilcox. They both have that theme, though for her, its dispair that she parts ways with, and for your speaker, it is loneliness.